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[Let's build D100] Ships you might come across in a busy port.

The party has come into a busy port and decide to visit some other ships. Who might they discover, what might they find?

d100 Interesting Ships in a Port


  1. Shani and Aurora's Tent of Two - The two goblin sisters Shani and Aurora sail providing services to port settlements. Shani claims to be a seer and charges 60gp for a "reading" of the future (she is not). Aurora 'The useful one' provides the service of casting identify for 20gp. She may also agree to sell some of her extensive library if offered the right price. [dweeb_bush]
  2. The Bones Brothers - The bones brothers are a travelling group of jolly bards. As their name suggests they are animated skeletons. Jimbo-double bass, Timbo-guitar, Limbo-vocals, Dimbo-marimba and Franky-drums. They are very hospitable and put on a show for anyone who comes and visits them! [dweeb_bush]
  3. The Lovers - A small nondescript boat lies just off the dock. The is no sign of activity on board apart from the dock inspector who is trying to find out who's boat it is. The truth is the owners of the boat died ten days ago and the boat has miraculously drifted safely into port. on a successful DC 10 investigation or perception check the party members discover two young male elves cowering in the cannonball chest. When the lid is lifted they start begging for their life. If pressed they reveal that the crew was attacked by sirens, the majority of the crew succomed to the siren's calls however the two young boys, deeply infatuated with each other did not care for their temptation. They ran out of food last night and thought they were surely doomed! [dweeb_bush]
  4. The Crows - A large black boat rests in port, neatly secured off one of the more expensive jettys. The most defining feature of the boat is that it is bustling with activity, not by humanoids but 3d12 black ravens. One wears a small captains hat and appears to undersatnd the party. If the party casts speak with animals they discover that the crows were awakened through a series of trials on a new spell aimed to mass awaken a group of creatures. The crows have varying degrees of intelligence and are all chaotic neutral alligned. The crows rebelled from, Hignory Flip, the wizard running the trials on a small island about 2 days sail from the port, and stole his ship. [dweeb_bush]
  5. Captain Redbeak! - A suspicious longship hovers low on the water. There is a steady stream of humanoids entering the covered boat and leaving a few minutes later with a small package. The ship belongs to Captain Redbeak, a feirce pirate captain who runs a drug trade: the drug in question is a relatively cheap drug called "Peak Water" and is collected dew from mountaintops, it gives the user a high that lasts 1d4 hours and gives the user a d4 of bardic inspiration. It costs 10gp per hit. The ship is manned by 2d6 Bandits, and if threatened or reported they will attempt to kill the party in defence of their lives. [dweeb_bush]
  6. Crazy Mr McGee - A delerious man stands warding off the dock guards with what looks like a loaded blunderbus. He's yelling about his notorious reputation as a savage pirate and keeps claiming they have come to "Take away my princess". The princess he's referring to is his boat- he imagines that it is a glourious gallion but in reality it's just a rowboat. If the party manage to subdue the man the dock guards thank them and offer to buy them a drink later that night in the tavern. [dweeb_bush]
  7. A Con??? - The players are drawn to a commotion hidden behind a crowd of people. A large goliath (Manneo) seems to have taken a small dwarf (Skalgrouth) hostage and is threatening to slit his throat if the dock guard do not meet his demands "I'll bloody well kill 'im if you don't give me what I want: 100gp worth of rubies and free passage out of this shit hole!". In reality the goliath and dwarf are working together pulling off this stunt at various ports in the area, so far, to great success! [dweeb_bush]
  8. The Rat's Den - The players follow a stream of rats on board a decrepid looking riverfairing vessel. When they make cross into the canvassed interior they see an old kobold playing the pipes, he seems to be a rat-catcher. If the party interrupt him in his ritual he turns the a swarm of rats against the party and runs off into the port. [dweeb_bush]
  9. Seeking Refuge - A smallish sloop titled 'The Diamond Endeavour' pulls into port, it's sinking and fast! A crew member (Emery Green) jumps onto the dockside and is yelling for help. The vessel was struck by a great storm while at sea and they sustained damage when they brushed by a reef. Luckily they werent wrecked but unluckily they could not repair all the damage with materials on board. They've been bailing for hours and can no longer bail as fast as the ship is filling up with water! If the characters wish to help they can make a DC 13 group athletics check to bail enough water to stop the crew from having to jump ship and leave it to sink. If the players are successful Emery thanks them profusely and offers them a map to a shipwreck they were on the way to dive at before the storm hit them. "It's rumoured that this is the wreck of the old pirate lord, Feather Toothed Bill's ship and may hold riches beyond imagine!" [dweeb_bush]
  10. The Gilded Sail - A group of merchants, all of various races, each offering unique, and expensive, magical trinkets. True to their name, their sail is actually a thin sheet of gold, and the rest of their ship is covered in valuable metals and gems. It’s also very well armed, as are the merchants aboard. Keep an eye on the rogue when this one’s around. [Dragon_Overlord]
  11. The Patchwork - A large ship which seems to have been destroyed and repaired numerous times with whatever material the crew had, from birch wood to copper metal to even welded armor and weapons. Speaking of the crew, they appear to be a mishmash of Kenku, Kobold, Halfling, and the occasional Tabaxi and Goblin. The captain appears to be a raccoon by the name of Majos, which, if your party stumbles upon the question of why and how a raccoon is a ship captain, she would respond with “a salty mage who didn’t know how to win a simple game of cards had a tantrum.” She would then offer the party a game of cards in which if the party beats Majos, she rewards the party a hefty sum of 100 GP, and if any party member is any of the races listed above, she rewards an additional magic item (DM’s choice) and offers a position to the party member for them to join her crew. Accept and the party is taken to an additional encounter to an island for treasure. Decline is acceptable and Majos would accept any favor from the party. [SpyroAndToothless]
  12. The Feyr Winds - An elegant ship that carries goods and treasures from far off Elven lands run by a mixture of elven and faerie creatures. Their most illustrious goods are fruits that can do many things such as heal wounds, cure poisons, or even granting stat bonuses for a minute! (Vendor: Fruits are magical and can take on the effect of any potion you want.) [OSpiderBox]
  13. Gnasher's Maw - A tribal-ized longship driven by a "merry" band of lizard folk. They obviously don't understand personal space or social norms, and are seeking people to help them with a Giant problem. (Hook: if your party is having downtime while they look for their next quest, this could be that hook they need.) [OSpiderBox]
  14. The Esteemed Steamboat - Artificers run this marvel of steam engineering. However... it's currently in a state of disrepair. Looks like heavy damage from some monstrosity. While they're extremely proficient in fixing it, they have no money and are looking for work to pay for supplies. (Allies: party could hire some of them for an upcoming task/adventure, or even offer to fund the repairs in exchange for favopassage.) [OSpiderBox]
  15. The Mainstream (You’ll never need a bigger boat!) - A casino cruise ship featuring a large game room, several bars, comfortable rooms, a pool and a hot tub fueled by a continual flame spell. It is captained by a tall, brown scaled lizardfolk woman named Kepesk. The dealers are kenku bards repeating rules and barking (“Step right up, try you’re luck at the Wheel of the Goddess of Fortune!”) There is also a large vault of gold on board, guarded by lizardfolk soldiers. One particular patron is looking for a few helping hands for a bit of a caper now that he knows the guards patrol schedules. [spiff2]
  16. Rocinante - A relatively fancy and expensive ship being up kept by the Quijano family and their servants. The last living member of the family is a young man, obsessed with swords and thirst for adventure. He agrees to let the team borrow the ship, in exchange for him coming with them on their adventures to wherever they’re going. [DrFishPhd]
  17. Deep Blue - In a corner of the harbour, a seemingly empty ship. Sails are neatly furled, crew seems to have left the ship mere hours ago. On the deck, small openings allows the visitor to enter the hold, in it, some barrels, hammocks. Beside one of the hammock, a book, quite old, written in an old version of Common language.In the middle of the hold, some blankets cover a group of trunks, under these trunks, another opening ... leading to another hold. In this hold, vessels, old fashioned lanterns, and some parchment written in ancient language. At the bottom of a bulkhead, an opening, some stairs gong down in another hold.Wood seems ancient, and strange figures are carved into the wooden parts of the boats. Some ancient runes are covering pillars. In the middle of the hold, a panel with nails made of some unknown metal, once open, stairs going down in the dark. From the shadows, the noise of little splaches. [doctor_providence]
  18. The Mosquito - Run by a crew of githyanki pirates. What seems like a normal battle vessel, once on the open ocean, the sails begin turning outward and suddenly the ship begins gliding above the waters surface at fast speeds. [GladiatorJustin]
  19. The C.H.U.D.- The Shell of a massive deceased Dragonturtle floats next to the dock, it’s ends sealed by mechanical claws, and a viewport fitted into the front. The C.H.U.D. (Chelonian Hammerworked Underwater Dirigible) was designed by the Gnomish Inventor Hector Copperspark. Crewed by gnomes and halflings as they are the only ones small enough to man the complex machinery crammed into the turtle shell, the C.H.U.D. is a mercenary vessel that hires out to perform naval attacks. Hector just got a lead on a new job, and he needs some muscle to pull it off... [Lakandalwa]
  20. The Temple - A ship that serves as a mobile temple to a water deity. It goes from port to port to carry services. [SMGB_NeonYoshi]
  21. Cloudscraper - One of the gems of the Romish Empire's formidable fleet, the Cloudscraper is a powerful warship specially constructed for defeating sea monstrosities of all kinds. Developed after the Queen's late husband was killed by an island feeder (colossal sea beasts known for swallowing swaths of land whole), this vessel with an imposing tower-like bridge is loaded up with all types of harpoons, cannons, and magical armor. Some even say that, thanks to a powerful magical engine, the top half of the ship can separate from the brig to chase after flying beasts attempting to get away. With how famous it is, plenty of townsfolk are eager to get a look at the shining bronze beast of a boat. But what's it doing here of all places? [MildlyConcernedGhost]
  22. The Wistful Wanderer - A small sloop with a single cabin in the middle of the deck. A skilled observer might note that the sails and rigging as well as the rudder occasional shift to right the ship or tighten and secure themselves more. The cabin is actually permanently enchanted with a Mordenkainen’s Magnificent mansion and the ship is handled by a permanent crew of 20 unseen servants. It is owned by the Wandering Wizard Wesley Wrycroft. He sails the world at his leisure, seeking trade for scrolls and arcane artifacts. He also regularly hires adventurers to gather difficult to reach artifacts from unworthy hands whenever he finds a lead on the location of such a relic. [Lakandalawa]
  23. The Magic Brawler - A merchant ship with a very strong looking captain comes to port. If the party chooses to look at their items the captain will challenge the party to an arm wrestling match. Beating a DC 20 strength check will award the party one minor magic item from the captain's personal stash, and beating a DC 25 strength check will award a magic item of the DMs choosing. [TheInstitute4]
  24. The Friend Ship - A comfortable looking wooden ship full of people just hanging out on the deck. While aboard this ship you find yourself under the effects of the Charm Person spell to make everyone friendly with each other. [Stormkiko]
  25. The Dragon Ship - Captained by a Dragonborn with a dragon head on the prow, this ship is a merchant vessel crewed by a muscular Dragonborn who sits on the deck smoking a long pipe. The ship has put down for repairs after grazing a rock which tore a few holes in the starboard side. [AndreTheSalty]
  26. Kender - A rag tag ship filled with swashbuckling Kender. The ship looks like it was made from bits and pieces of many different ships.The Kender are very drunk and have no idea how they got to this port. [Slainlion]
  27. The Poor Captain - A ship that looks broken and near sinking, in truth it's one of the most armed ship on the seas. It uses help calls or just their non threatening look to lure ships close so that they can attack them. [DungeonsAndScouts]
  28. The Fisticuffs- A medium sized rowdy ship sits a little way out from the dock. The ship has two massive hands stemming from the hulls on long mechanical arms. The hands have an AC of 25, a damage threshold of 5, and 30 health each. They ship can leave the water and "walk" on the hands. The ship is primarily a combat ship and is crewed by a band of mischevious gnome tinkerers. In addition to attacking (+10 to hit: 4d6 + 8 bludgeoning damage) the hands can also cast Bigby's hand once per day. [dweeb_bush]
  29. The Grain Barge - A large barge with a dirt floor and wheat growing. A single old man lives on the barge, and sells wheat for 2 pountds per copper piece. In the hull of the barge, accessible only by a trapdoor in the old man's shack, is a large pile of carrots. [serious_tabaxi]
  30. Sea Rot - A large gallion speeds into port with a yellow flag raised. As soon as they dock and have paid the docking fee the captain, a large half-orc woman called Mishka, starts calling for help! She reveals that over half of her crew has contracted a strange plague and she fears for her life. She came to port to seek medical assisstance but fears she is infected so dares not go ashore.The plague - Sea Rot - Is highly contagious and air-borne: if a creature comes within 5ft. of an infected creature they must succeed on a DC 17 Constitution save or become infected themself, symptoms take 1d10 days to manifest. The symptoms of Sea Rot are gruesome, starting with the extremities of the body, the body starts depositing water in cytoplasm-like sacks. At the end of every long rest the creature takes 2d6 cold damage and must succeed on a DC 13 Constitution save or suffer 1 permanent constitution damage, the infected creature also has disadvantage on strength and dexterity checks. It can only be cured by magical means that remove a disease.If the party fetches help she rewards them with a small favour and a pouch full of gemstones worth 50gp, in addition, if the party can cure the 20 crew members and contain the plague she offers them passage anywhere, offers an additional 100gp, and her cutlass- a +1 scimmitar that also increases the holder's charisma by 2 while holding it. [dweeb_bush]
  31. Grok's Galley - A medium-sized ship piloted by a Tortle named Grok(He Understands Things)11. The ship is a 2 sailed vessel with few cannons and other wartime mechanisms on them. The crew is very resilient and full of ragtag non-humaniods. Gnolls, Dragonborn, Ratfolk etc.He's about to set sail back home as he's heard of this group of ratfolk that are trying to overthrow the government in his home town. [VKilledTInternet]
  32. The Abigail - An old warship thought to be lost that had been renovated and turned into an inn. It’s run by two very attractive siblings, who turn out to be sirens and one night, they take the boat out to the sea and eat all the passengers. [TardyTortoise]
  33. The Comfort - This massive galleon is an independent freebooter that refuses to pay allegiance to any nation or city. Housing a collection of skilled healers and clerics, the Comfort sails to areas struck by famine, plague, and war, providing healing to whomever requests it. The sailors aboard the vessel have all sworn the same oath, to defend the healers and their patients with their lives no matter the cost.While the Comfort usually is accepted at any port, it sometimes comes under attack when it travels to war torn regions and as such is well equipped to defend itself should it come under attack. [Lakandalawa]
  34. Arabian Traders - An exotic merchant vessel filled with silks, spices, and strange spirits is disembarking. A dashing arabian prince asks basic questions about the city, potentially becoming enamored with one of the party members. He is rich and slightly crazy, and believes anything can be bought for a price. This gets him into trouble when he tries to buy someone's hand in marriage to add to his collection of luxuries and many wives back in his home port. [jfractal]
  35. Deep Sea Scavengar - Salty, untrustworthy sailors (who look like pirates) are disembarking/unloading from their latest voyage. They have been at sea for months, and haven't seen a woman in that long - they openly hit on and jeer at any females in the group with a CHA score of 11 or higher. One sailor tells a fanciful story about sirens that they encountered on their voyage, killing 3 of their men (it's hard to tell if they are serious or not). [jfractal]
  36. His majesty's secret - A heavily outfitted, small warship is in a secret mission from the king. Heavily armed/armored guards stand watch over the docks, turning away everyone, and refusing to divulge their purpose here. [jfractal]
  37. Smallminded Yokels - A small, local fishing vessel filled with xenophobic, small-minded fisherman. The make disparaging remarks about any non-humans if approached. If the party gives them lip, they will get jumped by the crew the next time they wander the harbor at night. [jfractal]
  38. Mussel's Mate - A large fishing vessel that has seen it's better days. Rigging is in tatters, masts are spliced together, mismatched patchworks sails. Oddly enough the captains quarters are extremely well apportioned not at all like the rest of the ship. [hamlet_d]
  39. The Wayward Lady - This ship has an all female crew. The species on board are the outcasts from different lands. They serve as a place for any who are lost to have a home, though men don't tend to stay for long for some reason. After a successful DC 20 insight check it can be found that men on board the ship for 4 months become women. [42firehawk]
  40. The Gypsy - On the deck is what appears to be a stage where beautiful female dancers perform to music provided by a small band of bards. One of the dancers, who is known as the Storyteller, tells stories through song as the rest of the dancers provide her the visuals/backup dancing. Her voice is noticeably quite low for a woman, but is very enchanting nonetheless. An insight check with a DC20 will reveal that all of the performers are cross-dressing men. [Crystalized13]
  41. The Stable - A ship of decent size that carries horses (or any other kind of mount in your game) from port to port and sells them at a decent price to tired and/or injured travelers. It is crewed by a family of six (mother is the captain, father, three sons, three daughters) and a few extras the gathered along their journey, namely; a nice old man who wants to see the world, a young woman with a fiery attitude and an obvious crush on one of the party members, a muscular Dragonborn who has obviously seen some action who now tends to the horses, a bard who offers entertainment to the crew on board and is particularly liked by the children, a mute Druid who helps the horses and is good friends with the Dragonborn (who interprets their sign), and an ex-pirate who loves the sea but wishes to leave their past behind them. [Crystalized13]
  42. The Penny Bucket - The penny bucket is barely a ship. It's looks like a wash-bucket with a wooden T nailed to it and has a large white shirt as a sale. As far as you can tell there's no way to steer, its an utter mystery to you how it ended up in port, let alone why the dock authority would charge it to dock. When you peer inside the bucket you see a small red pseudodragon peacefully sleeping on it's hoard, which consists of 3pp, 16gp, 103sp, and 56cp, 6 rubies worth 30gp, and a dusty diamond worth 300gp , and a small magical trinket of the DM's choice. If woken up the Pseudodragon wakes up and fiercely snarls , cowering, and protecting its stuff. The dragon will trade any of the items in its hoard if the adventurers offer something of value, or a large amount of food. If the party wants to adopt the dragon along with it's hoard it may be won over with gifts and a DC18 animal handling check. [dweeb_bush]
  43. The Crafty Raft - A makeshift raft has floated down the coast and slammed into the dock. There is no one on board and it appears to be unmanned. There is a note fixed to the mast with a tiny butterknife. The note has directions, "at the lightning stump follow the stream and rescue us". The raft, and attached note were made by crafty goblins attempting to lure creatures down the coast right into a trap. The goblins have made finding their hideout incredibly easy. With a DC 5 nature (tracking) check the party can find the tree and follow it down to the river. The real trap is a series of pitfall traps cleverly hidden in and around the stream. If the adventurers continue along the stream they must succeed on a DC18 Perception check to avoid it and must succeed on a DC14 Dexterity save or fall 10ft. into spikes and take 1d6 bludgeoning damage and 2d6 piercing damage. They are then accosted by 2d4 goblins. [dweeb_bush]
  44. The Illusory Boat - Moored in the port is a huge gleaming golden pirate ship, there must be at least 50 richly dressed halflings manning it. There's a long gangplank extending to the dock. Suddenly there's the noise of several cannons firing off. The guards rush over to the ship, fearing that they are attacking the port. They scream at the ship- "come down here and speak to us you cowards, we can't board your ship without permission but we will call the town guard!" A voice calls from the ship yelling insults at the guards aiming to infuriate them till they board the boat. If any one steps on the gangplank they must succeed on a DC 14 Dexterity save or fall into the water, as they do the ship dissapears and it's revealed that the entire ship is a major illusion cast by three giggling wizards who run away from one of the neighboring piers. [dweeb_bush]
  45. The Question - There's a metallic ship floating in the water. From it you hear loud beeping, chirping, and whirring noises coming from it and it's attracted a large crowd of 3d10 townsfolk, who are fearfully inspecting the ship. As you approach closer you begin to hear a voice in all the artificial noises. You hear it asking thousands of questions, in thousands of voices: "who am I?", "why am I here?", "What's that ugly thing over there?", "what is the meaning to life", "Why are there people watching me?", and other creepy remarks that give the idea that the ship is conscious and scared. When the adventurers look into the boat they see a blinking green, light with a swirling marbled texture on it. The light turns red and starts asking questions very specific to the party. Before long it begins speaking in tongues and a flash of blinding light appears. The adventurers make a DC13 constitution save. On a failed save they are blinded for a minute and take 4d4 psychic damage or half as much on a successful save. When the adventurers look again the ship is gone and there is just a small gemstone floating in the water, whispering to the party in tongues that are unintelligible. [dweeb_bush]
  46. The mistake -A small boat that seems to have been renamed fairly recently. The - ake part of the name is in a different calligraphy and color from the rest of the name [Ido97]
  47. The Barnacle - An old weathered gun-ship bearing it's scars from many a battle, but nevertheless being no worse for the wear. Built strong from some ancient hardwoods and it has been well maintained to the best a ship of that age could be. The crew is a rowdy bunch of salty Dawgs that work as hard as they play...and they fight even harder. They may squabble amongst themselves, but don't you dare mess with or insult one of their brotherhood. They have come to port ready to sell their wares, collect their bounty and spend it irresponsibly. All so they can find their next mission and do it all over again. [gothic03]
  48. The Bauntoo - A strange ramshackle ship occupied by amphibious humanoids that spend near their entire lives out at sea, trade in weird cool stuff they've found deep diving into cool underwater locations like ocean ruins, and wont be at port for long. [Swerve-Bro]
  49. The Leviathan - A huge ship listing hard to one side, its mast broken halfway up and the sails drooping to the deck. All of the wood is dark brown, slimy and rotting out. It looks like someone pulled a shipwreck from the bottom of the sea and it remained afloat by some miracle. If the party inspects the ship, they will find it has already been thoroughly looted and all that remains of the crew are skeletons. (Whether the skeletons are animated or not is up to you). The dock guards will tell you that a huge fog rolled in last night and this ship was there when the fog lifted. [painterinsomniac]
  50. The Menagerie - A decent sized merchant ship, this one is run by all sorts of different creatures though none are humanoid. This ship was originally a travelling circus showing off all manner of awakened animals who were kept captive. The animals are quite amiable and will offer carry passengers in exchange for assistance selling their goods in markets. [painterinsomniac]
  51. The Coffin - A casket-shaped ship that contains the body of a 21-ft giant. The top of the casket has been fitted with sails and rigging and is manned by a crew of humans who tell the party that the giant hired them before his death. He always wanted to sail around the world, so half of all his treasures would be given to the crew who sailed him around the world. The money is to be awarded upon the crews return to the giant's family home, and the crew must have an artefact from each land to prove their voyage complete to the family and get their loot. Of course, the crew isn't bothering with actually sailing around the world - they're content to just make port for a year and trade people for ancestral trinkets so they can return to the land of giants in a year and take their massive loot. They've been given a hefty advance to cover the cost of their long voyage, so money is no object. Adventurers can sell their items if the item is from a distinct background (eg a Dwarven Warhammer, an Elven scroll of healing, etc). [Anceaus]
  52. The Lighthouse - This ship is captained by a young cowardly wizard and an equally nervous-looking crew of young human men. Atop the central mast is a large lighthouse light, which the owner uses to keep other ships far away from him while at sea so as to avoid any trouble. If approached, the captain will immediately begin grovelling and handing over loot at the sight of the party's weapons, offering them any onboard services he can think of for his crew to do for them (shoeshines, blade sharpening, armour mending).Turns out it's all an act - the captain is actually a conniving trickster who transports and deals in Light Blue Light, a magical drug that induces paranoia/twitchy behaviour but grants a 1d6 bonus to Strength for a period of 1 hour. [Anceaus]
  53. The Nest - A vaguely ship-shaped bramble of collected branches and tar, this vessel doesn't look like it should even float, much less sail. It's run completely by Kenku's. They love to collect shiny objects and every nook and cranny of the nest is filled with glittering pieces of treasure and trinkets, among which are a range of magical items.Anything can be bought for a price, but what they especially want is for the adventurers to help them get a shiny old chalice that they've spotted beneath the waters of the harbour - they aren't big swimmers. [Anceaus]
  54. The Half-Pint - An average looking, 2nd-rate ship run exclusively by halflings and gnomes. The crew are rolling a large number of barrels off the ship. A DC 13 Investigation Check will uncover that the Half-Pint has almost twice as many decks as a regular ship of that size and the diminutive crew use the extra space to smuggle illegal magical ale that has explosive side effects. If approached, the first mate (a scruffy gnome named Sebastiano who trusts people a little too easily considering his trade) will ask the party if they are 'for hire' or just want a cask.If the party is looking to buy, refer to the http://dndspeak.com/2017/12/100-random-potion-effects/ to determine what effect their beer has.If they're interested in the job, he would have them guard a supply wagon transporting contraband IPA to an old wizard who lives in an ivory tower in the nearby forest for a sum of 25gp each. What the party doesn't know is that the wizard is in the process of transitioning into a Lich, and the beer is the magical conduit by which he has been transforming. The wizard has the stats of a Revenant if the party chooses to fight him. If an unconscious creature drinks the illegal beer, they will be revived and become Undead. [Anceaus]
  55. The "Blu Moon" - A two masted Caravel. An ocean going merchant ship, that has recently been damaged by pirates, but escaped because they dumped all cargo overboard. The ship is being repaired and expected to be ready in two days. The captain, Quintus "Full" Moon, already has agreed to transport 24 bales of dyed fabric to [INSERT DESTINATION] but is now looking for some more cargo for the same destination. The rest of the crew is: first mate Eldan Wind (m half-elf), bosun Karrla (f half-orc), helmsman Olfie Re (f half-elf), cook Carlin Zwiet (f gnome), and four human sailors: Frenk(m), Ra(f), Tjoris(m) en Huub(m). Huub is a 12 year old boy on his first trip. [Jeeve65]
  56. The Leatherback - A merchant ship from a faraway land. It is made of a beautiful reddish wood and adorned with many colorful flags. About half the crew is made up of tortles and the other half consists of various other races they picked up on their travels. They are very friendly people and will happily buy you a drink or two in exchange for stories of your adventures or of the places and cultures you’ve experienced. If they take a liking to you they're even willing to give you free passage to wherever you'd like to travel... as long as that place happens to be the next port along their voyage. [TheMightyLoaf]
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submitted by dweeb_bush to d100 [link] [comments]

Why Online Dating sucks (Hint: it's a feature, not a bug)

These days, the only thing more popular than tinder itself is complaining about tinder. Women complain that they can't find good guys on there, only fuckbois and deadbeats, and men sign up, get one match in 6 months and wonder "where are all da ho's at?!" It seems neither sex is happy with online dating.
And yet, the Match Group (Tinder's parent), is on track to exceed $2 Billion in revenue this year. Clearly, they're doing something right. And men and women, despite all their bellyaching, are ponying up big cash to use the app. What gives?
They key is to understand *why* OLD sucks: they suck at doing what they say they're going to do for you, and excel at doing what you really want them to do. Hence, you complain in public, while still swiping like an addicted monkey in private.
Here is what OLD *says* they're going to do: they're going to help you meet The One: your soulmate, your spouse, your partner-in-crime, ride-or-die, yadda yadda yadda. Here's what they really do: they preserve and feed your fantasy of who that soulmate actually is, tantalize you with the possibility that that soulmate is just barely, almost, oh-so-close to being yours, and hide any sort of hard truths about relationships and people that gets in the way of your delusions. And then, you pay them for helping keep your delusions alive, while publicly complaining that they're not helping you make those delusions become reality.
BTW, this is not a secret that only Tinder knows. It's called marketing 101. A beer commercial is ostensibly about selling you a nice tasting beverage that you enjoy drinking. Yet the commercials have bikini clad women surrounding the beer drinkers while they lounge around on a beach. A pickup truck is ostensibly a practical vehicle used by people who need to haul stuff around all day. Yet their commercials are all about exploring the great outdoors and tearing up trails in forests and mountains. And most of them are bought by people who'll never haul more than a "Just Married" sign and will never drive on anything more off-road than a highway with a few potholes on it.
So how does this marketing delusion work in online dating? To explore that, we have to first analyze how people found relationships before online dating. At that time, you relied pretty exclusively on your social network, e.g. friends, family, co-workers, church, and other social networks you were in. Unlike Tinder, these social networks really *do* want to see you happy and in a stable relationship (generally speaking; and yes, they may be bad at it, but most of the time, their heart is in the right place). This is for several reasons:
  1. They care about you and genuinely want to see you happy
  2. Since you're a member of their social network, it actually helps everyone else if you're stable and happy, and not miserable and always needing support from the social network rather than contributing back
  3. Conversely, if someone sets you up with a horrible person (or even a very mismatched person), they will face repercussions from you and everyone else when the relationship inevitably blows up. You can't sue Tinder for a date gone wrong. But you can certainly disown your friends if they set you up with a serial killer. IOW, the social network can bite back if you willfully mess things up.
Additionally, your social networks know a lot about you and (usually) a lot about the people they're matching you with. Which means they can often see through your own BS (in the way that good friends and close family usually can), and find good matches for you that you would never have considered yourself.
This system has worked for thousands if not millions of years. And most notably, OLD has none of the advantages listed above. Yet OLD has been incredibly successful and pretty much completely replaced the IRL social networks of the past. We even pay them to do what our social networks used to do for free. Why is that?
Because the mortal weakness of your IRL social networks is this: since they're not in the marketing business, they tell you hard truths you don't want to hear. I'll give you an example. When I was in my early thirties (pre-tinder), one of of my co-workers, also in her early thirties, was telling me about a date her friends had set her up with. Apparently it was a mid-forties man, balding, divorced, with a kid. She was in shock the next day. Not so much about the guy, who was nice enough. But that her friends thought that was her appropriate match. In her mind, she was still the mid-twenties hot young thing who would get cat-called in the bars. More than the guy himself, just the idea that now she was only fit for older, frumpy, divorced dads, and that furthermore *that was what her friends thought*, was too much for her to bear. But her social networks were doing the right thing. They didn't want to see her end up single and alone in 10 years. And regardless of whether that guy was the absolute best she could do, they saw her relationship value far more clearly than she did. They were a lot closer in their estimates of her value than she was.
In contrast, Tinder will happily whisper lies in your ear all day as long as you pay it to do so. In fact, for them, it's a *failure* if you find your perfect partner and ride off into the sunset, because that means you'll soon delete their app. Let me repeat that: Tinder does not want you to get married. It doesn't even want you to find someone for a year. If all of their customers found a mate within a month of being on the app, and then not check the app again for a lifetime or even a year, they'd run out of customers and go out of business. And their profits are far more important to them than your happiness.
So what are these lies?
1.
(If you're a woman), your perfect match is a billionaire convict outlaw church-going surgeon who cries during weddings. Also has 6-pack abs and a footlong. (If you're a man), your perfect match is a Victoria's Secret Angel madonna in public, whore in bed, who does yoga 6 hours a day and gets wet just thinking about your mastery of obscure Star Wars trivia. Also has no problem blowing you in public.
Yeah, neither of these people exist. Your friends will tell you that. But Tinder never will. Not only will it never tell you that, it actively encourages everyone to lie and puff themselves up into those fantasy matches. A guy who insists on talking about his "amazing trip to Machu Pichu" 5 years after he went is considered a blowhard in real life. On Tinder, that's the picture he uses to make his life seem more exciting than it really is. Every person on Tinder is trying to convince you that they are that billionaire convict, or that yoga-addicted underwear model. Your IRL social network would weed out the phonies real quick. Tinder prefers to bump them up in your queue.
2.
That man / woman of your dreams is just a swipe away. Who knows? They could even be the very next swipe! So just... flick your finger... one more time... Even if the people above actually exist, very, very few people can even meet them in real life. That billionaire dude doesn't hang out at Applebee's. Just getting into the restaurants / hotels / vacation resorts he stays at in order to run into him requires knowledge, money, and enough time spent studying the subtle class markers of the ultra-rich that you can pass yourself off as one of them. Similarly, just meeting a Victoria's Secret model requires running in their social circles, which typically means you're either a rich person, in the fashion and entertainment industry, or at least live in NY / LA and are willing to blow huge amounts of money on bribing the bouncers and hosts to let you into the closed clubs they hang out in. If you're really, really lucky, you might score a date because you're neighbors with their grandmother back in Kansas and she somehow convinces her granddaughter to give the nice neighborhood boy a chance when she's back home for Christmas and bored out of her skull. And even that's not as easy as a quick swipe, is it?
Everyone knows that to make a million dollars, you need to study hard, get into a good career, work your ass off, have a little luck, etc. Just like how your friends will tell you that to get a good girl, you need to work hard, lift, be sociable, and overall become a desirable guy. Tinder is the equivalent of the casino slot machine, which tempts you that that million dollar prize is just a dollar and a quick pull away. Similarly, Tinder tells you that dream guy/girl is just a quick swipe away. At least casinos are legally required to list the actual probability you have of winning that prize. Tinder doesn't even do that.
3.
Even if your perfect match exists, and you end up meeting them, you will often find out, much to your disappointment, that they're not a great match for you. There's a great saying: "behind every beautiful woman, there's a guy tired of fucking her." That glossy exterior image is often radically different than the inside. Every guy who has dated at least a few incredibly hot women will tell you that many of them (though not all!) are not worth the hassle. It may not even be that the other person is a "bad" person. Even a good person from a radically different environment can be a bad match. For example, if you can't name at least 5 different forks and which foods to use them with, and you think being a foodie means using A1 steak sauce instead of ketchup, then you probably won't even enjoy that 3-star meal your billionaire boyfriend buys you in Paris, while he will look on in disgust at your local hometown's "world famous" hamburger you buy him.
Birds of a feather flock together. Your social network is comprised of people who are similar to you in many aspects of your life, which makes it very difficult to find people radically different in life experience / values / outlooks than yourself. Which is actually a *good* thing because people from radically different walks of life tend not to be compatible enough to build a life together. Again, say somehow through Tinder you score a date with your movie actress celebrity crush. What would you actually talk about? Do you know anything about the movie business? Could you relate to her insecurities and what she deals with going on auditions every day where random strangers tell her she's too fat / too blonde / not blonde enough / too flat-chested / too busty to ever make it in this town? Heck, forget all that: do you even know what's a fun date thing to do in LA outside of the tourist traps that locals can't stand? Conversely, what's the chance she knows anything about your life? Is there any shared experience between you two that could form the basis for a real relationship?
Again, IRL social networks know this, because they generally know both people well, and have a good sense of who's a good match for whom. There have been plenty of times when I asked my friends about a hot girl I saw at a party, and they warn me off, telling me "dude, stay away from her. She's smoking hot, but batshit crazy." Or conversely, seat me next to someone I might never have noticed, who ends up being a great person that I want to spend more time with. Tinder doesn't ever do this. If you swipe right on someone their algorithm tells them will only lead you to misery, does it ever flash a big warning sign "Caution: Do you really want to date this loser?". Of course not. It only wants to feed whatever notion of a "perfect match" you already have. And if you think a recently paroled ex-felon is your perfect match, then that's perfectly fine with them. Don't think for a second that Tinder doesn't know that 90% of a match is based on looking at the first few photographs. It doesn't care. There's a reason Tinder is more popular than eHarmony. People don't want to be told who their best match really is (often because who your match is usually reflects who *you* are...). People dream of their soul mate since they're kids. The last thing they want is someone who pours cold water all over that dream. And if your soul mate is someone from your neighborhood that went to your high school or plays softball with your friends, then you don't need Tinder to meet them. So unless Tinder can feed your fantasy that your best life partner is someone totally outside of all your social networks (a ludicrous proposition when you consider it on its merits), someone only Tinder can hook you up with, it won't be able to convince you to trust Tinder over your IRL social networks.
4.
There's an old saying: if at first you don't succeed, redefine success. Tinder has redefined success in the relationship world to "getting a match from someone." In the real world, it never mattered how many "matches" you got. There wasn't even a concept of that. It only mattered if you eventually found someone to spend your life with. When your friends set you up and you two decide after a couple of dates that it's not going to work out, your friends usually consider that a failure, because their goal is to help you get into a relationship, not just to go on a single date. Tinder's standards for success are much lower.
Of course, Tinder has been helped in this regard by the slut-pride movement that states the marker of a woman's success and worth is the number of dicks she's had inside her, rather than the quality of the man she actually ends up with. But Tinder's measure of success is even shallower. They consider it a success if you "match" even if that never even leads to a meeting in real life. More importantly, they've convinced *us* that the app was successful if it "matched" you with someone, regardless of whether that match went anywhere. It's instructive to see women write in their Tinder bios that they're "sick of fuckbois, not looking for hookups," etc. Yes, they're stupid because they're on a hookup app saying these things, but the amazing thing is, they don't blame the app itself, they blame the people on it. Because Tinder has redefined success in OLD as getting a match. Everything else is the responsibility of the person they matched you with, even if Tinder is the one that made the match on shoddy criteria that were destined to fail. In the early days of OLD, dating sites used to advertise the number of marriages that occurred from their site. You'll notice no one does that now. Because they realized marriages are bad for business, but to avoid the dearth of marriages being viewed as a product failure, they had to redefine success and make you accept the new definition as merely being "matched". Which we have.
5.
Let's say you make it through all of this. Your dream mate actually exists. He / She actually happens to be on Tinder and both of you somehow decide to swipe on each other. Then you navigate the minefield of messages / texting / phone calls until you finally manage to get coffee together. And despite your dream match being a ski instructor from Switzerland who only speaks French, while you've never made it past your high school Spanish classes and haven't traveled outside of your state, you realize he shares your passion for watching Kim Kardashian on E!. The final question: why do you think he'd be interested in you? We laugh at the women featured on WAATGM who are all looking for some incredibly desirable guy while offering nothing of value themselves. But we all fall into that delusion, and Tinder feeds that. Once they've redefined success as getting a match, something that can even happen on accident (oops! I meant to swipe left! Crap!), then you feel like someone actually likes you if they match you. Again, we laugh at instagram ho's who define their life's worth by the number of likes their ass shots get. We wonder if they ever consider that 90% of those likes are from thirsty dudes in India and Saudi Arabia that they would never even touch with a 10-foot pole. And yet, if you get a "match" from some hot girl, even if she unmatches you right away, or after a couple of text messages, we take that as a sign that, "if a girl that hot matched with me, then surely one of them will actually go on a date with me soon!" And you keep swiping. We criticize women who think that just because some dude had a one night stand with her, that she's close to getting a relationship with him. And yet Tinder has convinced us that just because we occasionally get a match with a random hot guy/girl that if we keep swiping, eventually one of those matches will turn into a real date which will turn into a steady relationship, which will turn into...all your dreams coming true! But just like a fuckboi is only into fucking you, Tinder is only into getting you "matches". It has no interest in things proceeding further, and its algorithms are not designed to help their matches do so. Indeed, just like a fuckboi hopes you don't actually find a real relationship since then you might cut him off, Tinder hopes that match doesn't lead to anything beyond a one night stand, because otherwise, you might delete their app.
Needless to say, IRL social networks are very aware of this. Which is why sometimes they tell you a hard truth like, "dude, don't bother. That girl is way out of your league. She only dates football players." Because the last thing they want to see is you getting shot down unnecessarily.
-----------
So back to my co-worker, the 30 year old who got setup with a 45 year old divorced dad by her friends. Her friends knew she was finally looking for a serious relationship (she probably told them she was "tired of fuckbois" or whatever they were called back then :-), so they eliminated all the players and even the potentially good guys who weren't ready to settle down yet. Then they waded through whatever BS checklists she had and tried to figure out what was truly important and what wasn't, then eliminated guys who didn't at least have the important stuff. Then they eliminated people that had nothing in common with her, or who wouldn't be a good match for her personality. Lastly, there were probably a few amazing guys that checked all her boxes, but who her friends knew were way out of her league and were probably dating younger, hotter girls. And they eliminated them so that my co-worker wouldn't get her heart broken when (after sleeping with her) they decide she's not up to their standards for an LTR. Finally, after all that weeding out, they figured maybe this 45 year old divorced dad, who may not have all his hair or 6-pack abs but was still a good guy who was genuinely interested in settling down, and was still young enough to be willing to have kids with a new wife, and who was at the peak of his career and could provide a good life for her and any future family, is not such a bad match for her. But all she could see was that accepting him would mean she was no longer that hot girl at the club that all the guys would buy drinks for and she wasn't ready to do that yet.
At that point, if Tinder existed, she probably would have gone on the app, started swiping left and right, get quick reassurance that indeed, she was still that hot girl thanks to all the matches she got from hot guys in random towns 50 miles away, none of whom she'd actually ever meet, reject her friends' advice and trust Tinder instead. Later that night, when she was lonely and wondering if she'd every find a guy to love her, she'd still reject calling that 45 year old guy, who would have taken her out to dinner and maybe even found a lot of common ground and shared experience despite their age difference. Instead, she'd swipe right on a random guy who Tinder selected for her mainly based on the fact that he was within her listed age range and was only 1 mile away (even if he was only a tourist visiting from Australia for 3 days), since that's the only real piece of data Tinder actually has on anyone. And she'd fuck him that night. He'd leave before she wakes up, to get to the airport and fly home halfway around the world. And in the morning, waking up to an empty bed, she'd blame a) the guy for skipping out, even though she knew he's from Australia; b) the 45 year old dude for not being younger / hotter / fashionable enough to give her the tingles; c) her friends for thinking he was in her league; d) the entire world for being cruel and leaving her single and unhappy despite being such a great catch. IOW, she'd blame every thing out there, except the one thing that actually was preventing her from doing the work and making the sorts of compromises and decisions necessary to find and keep a long-term, happy relationship. Nope. Far from blaming Tinder, she opens her phone, starts up the app again, and goes through the swiping drill again, hoping that this time, finally, she hits that jackpot the app keeps telling her is right around the corner...
All of a sudden, Tinder making $2 billion doesn't seem so far fetched, does it?
submitted by ogrilla99 to WhereAllTheGoodMenAre [link] [comments]

What's Happening in CT 10/17 - 10/20

Thursday, October 17th, 2019:

Friday, October 18th, 2019:
Saturday, October 19th, 2019:
Sunday, October 20th, 2019:
How about check out a newly released movie this weekend!
You can also check this link out for a ton more events all around CT!
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User Suggested Events:
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I think it was removed because I posted o my Tumblr. Sorry!
submitted by SheCalledMePaul to Connecticut [link] [comments]

Ever want to take your group to Las Vegas?

Here is a 1-shot adventure I made, that could easily be fixed to suit any campaign! It comes complete with a whole town, some notable NPCs, some games to play while they are there, and a heist adventure if your players are keen!I playtested it with my group last Friday and they loved it :) Let me know what you think, or if you play it with your group!
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The group has come to the bustling town of Everhaven, a massive stone city in the middle of nowhere outside of all lordly jurisdiction. What once was a safehaven for unlawful deeds, gangs and thieves and murder, has since become an incredible tourist attraction for upper-class citizens to feel the thrill of skullduggery with minimal risk (as well as those looking for an easy pocket to pick). With buildings stretching towards the sky engraved with immaculate relief decor along its pillars and archways; gold and jeweled accents; and magically enhanced lighting illuminating every corner, rooftop, and statue, the city of Everhaven is an overwhelming mecca of visual stimulation.You arrive at the main square, where hundreds of other carriages are dropping off persons of every shape and size. A large group of richly adorned dwarves with gems on every finger scramble out of a red velvet carriage and immediately begin arguing about which attraction to visit first. A few high elves laugh behind their hands, though their red cheeks reveal their obvious drunken state, while leaning against a statue of angels playing fanfare trumpets in every direction - light spewing out of the metal horns in a magical rhythmic dance into the sky above. To your right is a large stable run by a sturdy group of stablehands, who are keeping busy taking care of the myriad of animals being herded into the city with frantic efficiency. Leaning against the stables are a group of rough and unfriendly looking folks, scars streaking across their exposed skin and blades at their belts. If the group talks to them, or succeeds on a 12 PER check, these are mercenaries to be hired for protection for pickpockets. (use the thug statblock (mm pg 350) for 2 silver per day or veteran (mm pg 350) for 2 gold per day).Eventually, an overzealous male half-elf (Fenian, The Silver Song) approaches you, adorned with a sequin silver vest and small white lute. He wears a hat with bells that jingles incessantly as he strides up to greet you. He offers to give you a tour of the city, and he specializes in the grand jewel of the of Everhaven - The Clover. He asks for 10 silver for the regular tour, with the best-selling vocalization, or 20 silver for without music accompaniment.Anyone with a passive perception of 10 or less will at some point, if not multiple points, be pick pocketed during their stay unless they hired a guard.On the tour he points out the various mercenary groups along the way, and makes note of the major attractions. The group can also see these if they decline his services:
If the group is having enough fun just exploring - let them. Otherwise, if they make enough money or make enough of a ruckus, then a stranger will approach them with a plan too good to pass up.
This female purple-skinned tiefling (Marzas Alrozath) has a scar over one eye and is missing a few teeth, but is otherwise well kept and clean. Her hair is shaved in zigzag patterns on both sides and a ponytail at the back. She wears padded black leather, with various pockets sewn in. Her belt has too many coin purses. She takes you to the Pepper Parlour and pays for your meals “There is no better place to talk of such matters than in a room full of raucous pigs.” She explains that she is interested in working with you to break into The Clover’s vault. There is more money there than God knows what to do with. It is heavily guarded with too many traps. She heard from a good source that there is, however, a way around the majority of these hazards - a central access point to the subterranean cellars connecting all of Everhaven together. She knows it's somewhere in the middle of town, but hasn’t been able to find where yet. She asks you to seek it out, as she cannot do it herself as they have her records on file (she became a member years ago, and they have her spit to track her movement inside the casino. If the party is already members they have disadvantage on any stealth checks made while in the Clover. The secret entrance is underneath the Smiling Lady Statue through the mechanic's entrance)Alternatively, you can try and find someone in The Clover who has little loyalty to the company, or someone who knows the space well can help you? Perhaps a key, or a map, or intel on what awaits you? (Fenian the guide, Balor the server at The Clover's Bar, or Two-Teeth at the Houndgrave)
Map to the Clover's Staff Area (accessible through the far back of the casino) (one with traps, one without)
TRAPS: If any traps go off, make an additional stealth check for alerting the guards (except for Trap 4)
  1. Trip wire - PER 12 check to notice the wire, or DEX 12 save to avoid stumbling.
  2. Door trap - DEX 12 save. A heavy iron block falls on your head. Take 1 D6 damage you are Stunned for 1 minute, with disadvantage on any saving throws for 10 minutes.
  3. Door trap - DEX 12 save. A heavy iron block falls on your head. Take 1 D6 damage and you are Stunned for 1 minute, with disadvantage on any saving throws for 10 minutes.
  4. Huge metal locked door to the vault - PER 12 check to notice the trap. If door isn’t unlocked the right way, then a loud siren goes off and you are Deaf for 1 minute (alerts the guard immediately).
  5. Trip wire - PER 12 check to notice the wire, or Con 15 save or be be blinded for 1 minute
  6. The floor in this room is jiggly. Movement across the room sends nearby creatures bouncing into the air. A successful Intelligence (Investigation) or Intelligence (Arcana) check (DC 15) will grant knowledge of how the jelly floor acts. A Wisdom (Perception) check (DC 15) is required to notice the jelly floor. The walls themselves are slightly sticky, which allows you to walk across.The floor feels like hard stone when lightly touched touch, but while walking across the floor or if hit, it really jiggles. A creature, and any creature who is within 5 feet of them, who is walking across the floor is tossed 10 feet into the air, hits the ceiling and takes 1d6 bludgeoning damage.
  7. If you don’t approach the door from the walls or ceiling (aka you open it from the floor), sleep gas is emitted into the hallway. (DC 15 Wisdom saving throw)
  8. Motion sensor - If the door wasn’t opened correctly, then this automatically goes off. Dex save or else darts shoot from the corners, take 2D6 damage.
  9. Tripwire - PER 12 check to notice the wire, or 12 DEX save to avoid stumbling.
  10. Tripwire - PER 12 check to notice the wire, or spikes fly out from the group. Take 1 D10 piercing damage
  11. Pressure plates - PER 12 to notice the plate, or else the pressure plates release sticky slime to the ground which acts as difficult terrain and sticks to your feet for 1 minute after leaving the terrain.
ROOMS:
CASINO GAMES (all Dealers / Game Masters have a DC 13 against sleight of hand checks) Lucky 7s - Roll 2D6. Players bet either over or under 7. Players can either double down or quit - pot then doubles until either the players cash out, they choose wrong, or a 7 is rolled. Once a 7 is rolled, the house wins.
Devil's Dice - Roll 3D6. Players pick a # between 1-6. If 0 of the dice match this number, the house wins. If 1 of the dice match, they win back their bet. If 2 match, they double their bet. If 3 match, they triple their bet.
High or Lower - Roll 2D6. Dealer shows 1 dice to player, and the player has to guess whether their sum is higher or lower than the Dealer's dice. Can double down, and then roles swap for who shows their dice first.
I tried making a few games that weren't just dice games, but also offered some role play elements.
Karaoke - Roll performance against the crowd's reaction. Roll 1D20 against the player's Performance (Player's have advantage if they perform a duet). Earn 1 gold for the difference between these rolls (ie: Player's rolled a 18 performance, DM rolled a 12. Players earn 6 gold)
Dunk the Drunk / Archery - Roll for a ranged attack. 10-15 earns back their bet. 15-20 earns double the bet. 20+ earns double the bet plus a special item (up to DMs discretion)
Hammer Strike - Simple enough - DC 15 Athletics wins double the bet.
*edit - Forgot to add in the casino games like I promised - whoops!
submitted by mouharle to DndAdventureWriter [link] [comments]

I am a 31 year old RN making $54,181.92 in rural MN

Combined ~$85k gross. Lots of changes since my last diary! I'm still long winded!
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: $2,178.34 - 6.5%. Employer will put in 7.5%, vested at 5 years. B and I work at the same place, I'm guessing his balance is around $30k as he's vested.
Equity: I live with my fiance B. His 2 bed/1 bath house was paid off before we started dating. I'd say about $25k equity. VLCOL area.
Savings account balance: $517 in a HYSA.
Z's expense account: $245. I randomly put chunks of my child support in here to pay for school lunch and pictures, extracurriculars, co-pays, etc.
Wedding fund: $0, I just paid the deposit for our photographer ($400) and bought save the dates ($133).
Checking account balance: $1,831.04
Credit card debt: $4,055.62. Down $700 from my last diary when I was too scared to add the numbers up. I will hopefully be able to pay most of this off with my tax return.
Student loan debt: $30,287.51 for my LPN program and ADN, still in my grace period from my attempt at my BSN last fall. I should be paying my interest but alas, I'm not.
Clinic bill: $990.89. Somehow they got my old insurance company to cover my CT, so this is the remaining balance.
Section Two: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $2300 for me. Just got a raise to $28.11 base and the shift differential was increased a bit. B brings home ~$1500 depending on how his on-call weeks fall. We are both hourly and get that sweet, sweet extra check 2x/year (looking at you January). We have separate accounts.
Side gig: B is a volunteer firefighter and gets paid once a year in November. The amount depends on the number of calls he responds to. Last year it was about $1250 and he used it for Christmas spending. I pick up some OT here and there.
Any Other Monthly Income: $531 child support
Section Three: Expenses
Pre-Tax Deductions
Health insurance: $514/month for Z and myself (plus $1200/year deductible).
Vision and dental: $81.54/month for Z and myself.
FSA: $140/month. I'm able to flex daycare as well as health care costs. Will be adjusted in January to about $250/month and I'm going to cry when I see my paychecks.
Monthly Expenses
Rent/mortgage: B's house is paid off. My daughter Z lives with us the majority of the time, and B's stepson E is here every other weekend.
Home insurance: $127, B pays. It's combined with his car insurance.
Savings contribution: I aim for $200 into the wedding fund, $150 into the emergency fund. I haven't put anything in since September since I'm paying to get out of my old house (ending contracts, dumpster fees, final bill payments).
Debt payments: credit cards - $170, clinic bill - $100. B throws money towards a snowblower he bought last month on a 0% interest promo, his only debt right now. Amount owed is $1600 - it's a pretty sweet machine.
Donations: ad hoc throughout the year, most ends up going to the kids' schools.
Electric: Between $60-160 depending on the season, B pays. I will cover more day to day expenses in the summer to make up for it.
Natural gas: $56, B pays.
Watesewegarbage: ~$60, B pays.
School lunch: $46. I pay.
Daycare: $29/week school year rate. I reimburse myself from my FSA.
Groceries: Around $400 for all of us. B and I trade off.
Wifi: $75, B pays.
Bed payment: $140/month, 4 months left. I paid half up front and financed the rest. I pay.
Car payment: $405.27 for my car. B's car and truck are paid off.
Cellphone: $275. 4 unlimited lines, 3 phone payments (ouch we're dumb), and $8/month for Z's new tablet. I went through our bill line by line and was shocked at how much I was paying for stuff we didn't need, like visual voicemail and high tier insurance, so I cut it way back. I pay.
Subscriptions: $84 for Netflix, Hulu Live, Apple storage for Z, Pandora Premium (couldn't give up my playlists) and Dollar Shave Club. I pay and share.
Prescriptions: $14 out of my FSA.
Eyelash extensions: $120
Amazon subscribe and save: It varies, but ~$40 for energy drinks and OTC meds every month. Other stuff like paper products, furnace filters and litter genie refills as needed. I pay.
Other Expenses
Property Taxes: $507/year. B pays.
Amazon Prime: $59/year, still on my student email. I pay and share with B.
Pet expenses: 3 dogs and 1 cat combined! $33.49/month dog food. $28.60/every 3 months cat food & litter (all through Chewy). $240/year for doggie haircuts. I pay for all this, plus my animals' shots as needed. B pays for his dog's shots and treats/toys. We keep going back and forth on pet insurance, although I know we should just get it.
Car insurance: $258.50 every Feb/August for my car.
Car registration: $293/year, also due in Feb.
Z's extracurriculars (dance and taekwondo): ~$600/year, depending on costume/shoe costs. I pay.
Day 1: Saturday 10/26
12 AM: I still don't sleep at night, even on my days (nights?) off. I spend time online designing our wedding and reception invitations, updating our wedding website and searching for a bakery. I'm quite pleased with my progress. We have a reception venue, DJ, photographer, officiant and are doing our own food. Just need desserts and a ceremony space.
3 AM: Titanic is on! I've seen it approximately 187 times and still cry every time Rose lets Jack go. I put on some nail polish strips (yes they are Color Street, please don't kill me) and make a bag of popcorn. Kick myself for the popcorn because I'm supposed to be IF.
6:30 AM: Head downstairs to sleep. Spoiler alert: I don't. B wakes up at 7:30, gets a few minutes of cuddles and goes upstairs. Dink around on social media for a while and drink almost my entire 40 oz water bottle. Why am I always so thirsty when I go to bed? Make a mental note to track my water intake.
10:05 AM: The dogs are barking frantically at the air. B lets them out to play in the yard for a while. Bed payment comes out of my account. I eventually fall asleep.
3:15 PM: B comes down to wake me up. We are going to see one of my favorite local bands at the casino and staying overnight. It's a Halloween party and I can't wait to see the crazy costumes. We had a garage sale last month and hoarded some of that money for this weekend. I pack a few things in the overnight bag and trudge upstairs for a body shower. I clean my eyelashes with special foam soap and wash my face with Cerave Hydrating face wash in the shower. Get out to brush and seal my eyelashes, put some hydrocortisone on my eyelids to fend off my eczema, and apply COSRX BHA Blackhead Power Liquid to the rest of my face. Still don't wear makeup. Brush my teeth and spritz on Poison Girl by Dior perfume. Look at me with the grown up products! I refresh my waves with a DIY spray bottle of LA Looks Gel and water and I'm ready to go. Somehow, B is not despite being up since 7:30. 🙄
4:30 PM: We put the dogs in the garage and head to my old house to put my couch and recliner on the curb since it's a surprisingly nice day, 62°. Fingers crossed someone picks them up. We stop for beer (B pays $29.15) and fill up my car with gas ($28, I pay). I send an e-gift card ($40) to a coworker for her baby shower gift and drink a Monster Zero Ultra during the ride.
5:45 PM: Check into the hotel. I pre-paid in July so no charge today. Break my fast with a Redd's - I fully intend to overindulge tonight.
6:45 PM: Head down to the casino restaurant for supper. I get breaded shrimp, B orders boneless wings. We both drink water to prep for the long night. $30 with tip, B pays since I got the hotel. One of my CNAs messages me about getting their asses chewed in report. Sigh.
8:00 PM: Slot machine time!! I lose $40, go figure. We meet up with a bunch of friends from work and get ready for the show.
10:30 PM: I am front row center with the band. I love these guys! They play covers but dang, they are talented. I scream my head off, take tons of Snapchats, dance with my friends and drink too many beers. Best costume: Big Bird, who sheds yellow feathers all over the dance floor.
Daily total: $108
Day 2: Sunday 10/29
1:00 AM: Show is over and I am officially tipsy. B manages to get me up to our room after I win back $20 on the slots. Our best man randomly stops up for a beer. I have the good sense to rinse off the sweat and apply a vitamin C cream to my face. Adult time ensues, and we pass out around 3:30.
8:18 AM: I'm up! We spent $60 on beers and tips last night. My throat is killing me from all the yelling. We cuddle for a while and talk about how much I needed a night out. I've been stressed lately between fighting with my mom about wedding planning, finances and feeling a lack of respect at my job. B assures me for the 15th time that he's fine with our money set up, and I finally break down and text my boss. I brush my teeth and we check out of the hotel.
9:45 AM: I feel like garbage so obviously I need McDonald's breakfast. ($6.19) Stop to make sure my tires are aired up properly and finish the journey home. PSA: temp changes dramatically affect your tire pressure. Take care of your tires.
10:20 AM: The dogs are very happy to see us. Our incredibly nice neighbor lets them out when we are gone. We play in the yard for a while, then I unpack our bag and start some laundry. B makes a pizza for himself.
12:30 PM: My eyelids are twitching which means my body is tired. Bring my youngest dog to bed and have a very nice nap after catching up on some Money Diaries and chugging more water.
4:45 PM: The dogs are once again barking frantically and the next thing I know, Z is in my bed! Her grandma brought her home, what a gem. It was Z's cousin T's birthday today, so Z got up at 5:30 to make and serve T breakfast in bed with grandma's help. Z is such a sweet kid. She tells me she wants purple eyeliner for Halloween; she's going as Elsa. I need to replace mine anyways so I find a set with 3 colors on Amazon and pull the trigger on a purple sweater that's been in my cart since August. ($50.58) She watches YouTube videos on her iPad while I scroll the interwebs.
5:30 PM: B makes supper. He fries some burgers and makes French fries in the air fryer. After we eat, we settle into the living room and watch It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Sundays are family movie night in our house, but we're all too tired to start anything else. Z is out by 8 which is early even for her 6 year old standards. B turns on the World Series and I fall asleep immediately.
10:15 PM: The dogs want to go out, so I oblige. Throw the ball for our lab a few times, but it's 34° so the little dogs don't last long. B wakes up from his recliner nap and goes down to bed. I turn on HGTV for beach night. I'm so jealous of all these people living on the ocean. My fav CNA texts me about her night at work. I'm immediately frustrated at the way she's being treated but I try to calm her down. She contemplates requesting a meeting with the boss, and I encourage her to do so.
Daily total: $116.77
Day 3: Monday 10/28
12:30 AM: My schedule changed last month to every Tu-W-Th, but this week I work M-Tu-W so I can take Z trick or treating. So I stay up watching HGTV and texting with the girls at work.
2:36 AM: I don't hear B come upstairs and I scream when he says "boo!" He drinks a glass of milk and goes back down to bed. I make popcorn and start reading a random YA book that was free on my Kindle app. I can't really do anything around the house when I stay up because Z's bedroom is right off the living room, and our bedroom is in the basement along with the washer and dryer. The floors are creaky in too many spots and B is a light sleeper. I mostly cuddle with the dogs.
4:00 AM: Decide to lay in bed and keep reading. I have to kick the cat out of my spot and she's meowing in protest. B's alarm goes off at 4:45 and I fall asleep shortly after he goes to work.
7:20 AM: Now it's my alarm going off. Z is already awake so I ask her to get ready for school. She argues with me every morning because "school is boring mom!!" Only 7 months left until summer break... I stop at the old house to turn on the heat so the pipes don't burst, and drop Z off at school. Nobody picked up the couch, dang it.
8:15 AM: The cell phone and Hulu withdrawals hit my account, and I spend a few minutes categorizing transactions in my bank app. Pick up around the house a bit and Swiffer up dog hair. It's amazing how much our lab sheds.
11:00 AM: I'm back in bed with my Kindle book. Eventually fall asleep.
5:15 PM: My alarm goes off. I send a message to Z and make sure she's home (she is). We got her set up with Messenger for Kids a few weeks ago and she's obsessed. I get dressed for work, brush my teeth, put some dry shampoo on my roots and some BHA on my face. Grab last night's leftovers and out the door I go. My CNAs are so happy to see me. Drink my Monster during report per usual.
9:45 PM: 6-10 is always the busiest part of our shift, but tonight goes smoothly knock wood. I even remembered to get my votes in on DWTS. Wtf is Spicer still doing there?! I heat up my two burger patties with cheese (no bun), grab a yogurt and some carrots for dinner. I do OMAD on work days. I've lost 18 pounds so far!
Daily total: $0
Day 4: Tuesday 10/29
1:30 AM: THE COMPUTERS ARE BEING SO SLOW AND I WANT TO DIE.
2:01 AM: The entire system is down now. FML.
2:56 AM: We talk about a tattoo my coworker wants to get on her ass. Apparently a local tattoo shop is running a Halloween special this weekend. She's 20 and it shows, but I love her to pieces. She recently went through a health scare with a tumor in her humerus, but it's thankfully benign and I'm glad to have her back at work.
4:10 AM: The computer system is finally back up so I finish my charting. Check out the web for stamps for wedding stuff. I find a deal on eBay and order 400. ($163.96) The first part of my child support is deposited so I move some money into Z's account and round up my savings to $600.
5:30 AM: We still have the same morning routine: B brings Z to work with him, and I drop her off at daycare when I get done with work. It was a great shift tonight!
6:30 AM: Z has a complete breakdown at daycare when I drop her off, which is very unlike her. I think she's used to spending Monday evenings with me and is thrown off this week. She's always a little attached when she comes back from her dad's. I get home to shower and wash my hair, which is my least favorite chore. I wash with Shea Moisture Coconut and Hibiscus shampoo, condition with Suave Essentials Coconut conditioner and brush it with the conditioner in. Put in some smoothing cream, gel and toss it in a tee shirt. My hair is to the middle of my back, so this is a freaking workout. Use the Vit C cream on my face again. Let the dogs out and put them away in the garage before I go downstairs to read and fall asleep around 11. B comes home on his lunch break every day and lets the pups out.
5:00 PM: I'm up. Normal pre-work drill. B says that one of the girls from work wants the couch, so we go to load it up and it's already gone!! Thank goodness. I drop Z off at taekwondo and head to work.
6:30 PM: Boss is still here so we have a good chat which results in me crying in his office. Embarrassing… Drink my Monster and get working.
10:17 PM: Another decent evening. I didn't bring any leftovers so I raid the kitchen and make myself a taco salad with lettuce, black olives, tomatoes, cheese, ground beef and sour cream. Yum.
Daily total: $163.96
Day 5: Wednesday 10/30
2:21 AM: Is there something in the water this week? Busier than last night, but still have plenty of downtime. I decide to stay on Reddit so I'm not tempted to shop for more wedding stuff.
3:29 AM: I hit up Amazon for some dry mouth lozenges for one of my residents. I generally do not make special purchases like this. ($6.78) My coworker mentions she needs a new TV and she's in luck, because B and I have too many now that we live together.
6:30 AM: I drop Z off at daycare without any issues and meet my coworker at my old house. She picks a 43 inch smart TV and I make $125! Head home for my abbreviated morning (night?!) routine: rinse face, vit C cream, brush teeth. My oldest dog is acting crazy so I give her some extra attention. Head to my eyelash appointment at 7:30 ($25 + $5 tip, budgeted above).
8:11 AM: I'm in bed with the cat. No place I'd rather be, it's 21° this morning. Browse Reddit for a while, then read until I fall asleep around 10.
4:00 PM: Same shit, different day. I'm up a little earlier because Z has started going to her dad's on Wednesdays. I work and B has dart league every week. Our save the dates were delivered and I'm so happy with them! I pick Z up at 4:30, hand my monthly check over to daycare and then drive Z to her dad's. Trip takes about 45 minutes total. Today was Z's last day of school for the week, so her stepmom will bring her home sometime in the morning.
5:44 PM: The Humane Society where I adopted my cat is asking for donations of Snuggle Safe heat pads. I order one on Amazon and have it shipped straight to them. ($32.34) I try to send items to them 3-4 times a year. Kiss B goodbye as we both head out the door.
11:00 PM: Holy crap it's been busy. Finally get to sit down and attempt to catch up on my charting, which takes about 30 minutes longer than normal tonight.
Daily total: $39.12
Day 6: Thursday 10/31
12:30 AM: B is done with darts and brings me THE BEST steak cubes at work. I'm starving and still pretty busy so I wolf them down along with as much water as my stomach can hold.
2:39 AM: Finally a breather. I address save the dates and have a major hand cramp when I'm done. I gotta figure out a way to print these for our invitations.
4:03 AM: My FSA reimbursement comes through. I leave it in my checking to cover the daycare payment I just dropped off.
6:30 AM: I'm free!! Best part of my job is the 3 day work weeks. Go home, body shower, brush my teeth and let the dogs out. It's 16° this morning so none of them want to play. Ha. I am also exhausted from not getting my 8 hours of sleep all week, but it's been so hard to wind down after work lately. I cuddle with the dogs for a while and go down to bed to read. B took the day off, and having him in bed with me during the week is strange. I finally fall asleep around 11:30.
4:03 PM: Z comes down in her Elsa costume and demands that I do her eyeliner. She's pumped for trick or treating. I brush my teeth and throw on jeans and a tee shirt.
4:45 PM: Time to head out. We hit a couple businesses and go up to our work where they serve free supper every Halloween. We get hot dogs, chips and a cookie each. Then we walk the neighborhood around my dad's place. We stop at a family friend's house, and she comments on my weight loss. Score! The scale is hard for me to believe since my clothes still fit the same. I sneak a couple swigs of Fireball while we walk because it's 37° and I'm cold. Z ends up with 2 full buckets of candy.
7:00 PM: We're home just in time for Grey's Anatomy! I'm really not enjoying this season but after 14 years of watching this show, it's hard to stop.
8:05 PM: Z gets herself ready for bed and I tuck her in. She's beat. I watch a couple episodes of The Simpsons' Treehouse of Terror marathon.
Daily total: $0
Day 7: Friday 11/1
1:24 AM: Next thing I know, the dogs are barking to go outside. B and I both fell asleep in the living room. I take care of the dogs and make some popcorn before stealing some Kit Kats out of Z's Halloween haul.
3:00 AM: I go downstairs to read as usual, but I'm out by 3:30.
11:36 AM: Y'all, I was tired. 12 total hours of sleep later and I'm feeling much better. The stamps arrived so I finish our save the dates. B goes to get groceries and pick up E, since he has an early out from school today. Z is still laying in bed 🤣
1:30 PM: Z's dance teachers send out emails regarding costume prices. Our total will be $164 this year, and I have plenty in Z's expense account to cover it. They'll charge my card later this month. I spend some time in my bank app categorizing transactions and moving money around. My account rounds up all my transactions to the next dollar and puts that money into my savings account, and $12.14 was moved this week. I sign up for Disney Plus and update my subscriptions expense to $92. Text with my bestie about wedding planning and my work wife about random stuff.
2:10 PM: E is home! B bought about $200 worth of groceries and random house stuff: fancy frozen pizzas, popcorn, cheese, chicken patties, bread, sandwich meat, milk, cereal, tortillas, black olives, onion rings, tater tots, freezer bags, paper plates, Little Debbie snacks, cold medicine for E, deodorant, body wash, a carbon monoxide detector, dog treats, and I don't even know what else. I'll get the next big haul. He also bought razors and tells me the handle on his DSC one broke, so I go online and order a couple replacements since our next box doesn't come for 6 weeks. ($18.49) My no-spend day is shot, so I order vape juice since it's on sale. ($47.57) I'm 4 months cigarette free and didn't include that little detail in my last diary.
2:46 PM: B gets a fire page. It's a possible gas leak so it should be a quick one. They usually just sit around until the gas company shows up. I hang out with the kids and E catches me up on his week.
4:00 PM: B is home. No gas leak, just overly concerned neighbors. E turns on season 2 of Stranger Things and we make the frozen pizzas for supper.
7:00 PM: E requests to play board games. My allergies are acting up so I don't join. I feel guilty but my headache praises me. We tend to get rowdy on game night. It's also a hair wash night but I can't be bothered.
9:35 PM: Tuck Z into bed and she's asleep almost immediately. The rest of us aren't too far behind her. E lets the dogs out and I fill up my water bottle. I'm in bed reading at 10.
Daily total: $66.06
Weekly Total: $493.91 I AM SHOOK
Ending checking account balance: $1421.96
Food + Drink: $6.19
Fun + Entertainment: $100
Home + Health: $18.49
Clothes + Beauty: $50.58
Transport: $28
Gifts + Donations: $79.12
Other (vaping and stamps): $211.53
Lastly, reflect on your diary!
I purposely chose this week because I knew it would be busy. Going to the casino and staying overnight was a rare treat, although that little trip was kinda 'free' since we used the garage sale money. I also don't buy $165 worth of stamps every week. shrug
I opened a Simple account in August and it has changed my life. It automatically creates envelopes for my money so I'm never concerned about paying my monthly/recurring expenses. All these sinking funds and savings goals are new to me and I'm so proud of myself for setting even this small amount aside. I have never earned interest on my money before.
November will be the last month I pay for my old house. I didn't include the expenses because they are already set aside. Breaking the contract for deed was awkward but necessary. I broke down over the summer when I was getting $200 electric bills and it was still 76° in my house, along with my contract holder seemingly stalking me. I'll be moving any extra money first to my CCs then student loans. If I don't muck up, I can be debt free in about 3-4 years. Thankfully, B is totally on board with this. We are also cash-flowing our wedding, aiming for a $5k budget. B covers most of the bills and I pay for most wedding stuff, and it works for us.
submitted by samj732 to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]

The Big Yoink: A Smol Detective Story, Chapter 13

Standard Disclaimer: I do not take credit for the setting, this story is set in the They Are Smol universe, written by our very own u/tinyprancinghorse.
TPH has a Website, a Patreon, and also a Discord if you need more smol shenanigans.
The first Smol Detective story can be read starting Here.
There will be some spoilers/references of the first SD story in this one, so consider yourself duly warned.
___________
First Chapter
Previous Chapter
Next Chapter
In the previous chapter:
Bgrarh gets some Contraband.
Oscar has a Nice Suit.
Two words: Conga Line.
In this chapter:
Resh'skk does some Acting.
Sssnnathor serves up some Snacks.
The Silken Feather does a Clever Girl.
___________
The shuttle was due to depart in [six hours], which should give Bgrarh-of-Arhraz plenty of time. He checked for the hundredth time that his lab door was securely locked, then pulled out the unassigned terminal he'd managed to snag for this. The latter was just in case anyone tried to check the logs on his own 'official' machine. What he was doing was not strictly forbidden by the Inquisition, but it would be considered impolite and cause for censure.
If he got caught, Bgrarh figured he could spin a story of finding the media 'somewhere' and examining it merely to see if he could determine its origin. They wouldn't believe him, but they'd probably let his possession slide...especially if he let the hypothetical Inquisitor watch over his shoulder.
He took a steadying breath and popped in the first chip, then selected "Doctor No". Within a few scenes he'd gotten the gist of this [James Bond] character in spite of the poor quality and terrible dubbing. The Dorarizin had a similar fictional character, namely one Inquisitor Hrnarah. She traveled the galaxy with a blaster at her hip, ready to mete out justice and bed any comely males she came across.
But Hrnarah was also, well, a she. This [Sean Connery] person was as adorable as any [human], but he was also quite clearly male. And even though [Connery] walked with the standard wobbly, about-to-fall-over gait of a [human], there was a relentlessness to the way he moved that drew the eye.
The movie ended, and Bgrarh chose another at random. This had a different actor playing Bond, one who was less imposing but more debonair. The movie followed much the same formula as the first, which was something that [Bond] also had in common with Inquisitor Hrnarah.
As the movie played on, Bgrarh began to pick up on why [Oscar] suggested [Bond]. Whenever the man entered a room, whether it be a casino, a denpile, or a prison cell, [Bond] acted as if he owned that room.
Bgrarh stood and began walking about, picturing himself as a well-dressed secret agent who'd entered a dance competition as cover for some covert assignment...which honestly wasn't that far from the truth. As he did so, his nervousness about the upcoming performance began to fade and he knew he'd found the right personality to emulate.
Of course, there were certain things that Bgrarh was not going to emulate. He wasn't an expert on [human] mating customs, but he was pretty sure it wasn't proper to kiss [human] women without their consent.
Bgrarh chuckled. If he tried kissing the Captain without permission she'd bite his head off. Although now that he thought about it, the idea of kissing her with permission was very appealing. She was quite a handsome woman, after all. Yes, she was the pack leader and thus couldn't play favorites...but she was also a Dorarizin with needs.
Besides, Bgrarh knew his time of 'season' was approaching. Maybe this what the [humans] called a golden opportunity?
___________
In one corner of the hangar deck, two long and sinewy bodies coiled about each other. Each of them held a long needle-like sword in one hand, with the other clamped to their opponent's weapon-arm. There was much pained grunting as each strained to be the first to stab. Finally one of them managed to wrest her sword-arm free with a triumphant shout.
""
With that line Hrathra'sstah lunged forward as her prop sword did its job and buried its holographic blade deep into Resh'skk's chest. The ex-soldier clutched at the sword-hilt sticking out of his chest (which kept it from falling off), then groaned and toppled backward. His own weapon fell to the deck with a clatter.
"" he gasped in mock agony. ""
With a wordless scream, Hrathra leaped onto him and pushed with both her hands at the pommel of the fake sword hilt, acting as if she was driving the nonexistent blade deeper into his chest. At that cue Resh'skk bit down on the capsule hidden in his cheek, then let a little emerald-hued stage blood trickle out of the corner of his mouth.
He gave another groan of pain. "" he said in a stage whisper. Then Resh'skk slumped flat on the deck, staring off sightlessly into space.
After a beat, there was the sound of two small pairs of hands slapping together. It was a gesture of appreciation that Jornissians performed as well, and the sound made Resh'skk feel better about this whole nonsense.
"[Bravo!]" called [Maria].
"[Yeah, that was awesome!]" added [Oscar].
Resh'skk stopped playing dead and picked his hood up off of the deck. ""
"" said Hrathra'sstah. She still lay sprawled on top of him in a position that he would have enjoyed in other circumstances.
""
Hrathra'sstah pressed a finger to his lips. ""
"[And the villain always has to give a big monologue when they die!]" said [Maria]. "[It's a tradition even in [human] drama.]"
"" Resh'skk made as if to get up, but Hrathra didn't budge from her perch on top of him. He felt her tail-tip coil about his own. Ordinarily, Jornissians were a little less fussy about touching tails; it was just a consequence of their body type. But this was a more familiar gesture, one that close friends engaged in.
He glanced over and saw the two humans bumbling off. [Maria] had her hand on [Oscar's] arm as she steered him away from the Jornissians. His [human] friend had clearly picked up on the opportunity and was giving him the private space.
Resh'skk turned his head back to look up into Hrathra's red, gleaming eyes. His old fears returned. How could someone so smart and capable find anything of value in a broken down ex-thug like himself? But he had to try. He'd faced down pirates trying to carve out his intestines, he could face down this.
""
She raised one corner of her hood. "" But she did pick herself up off of him. Resh'skk rose, coiling his lower half below him in the Jornissian version of parade rest. He clasped his hands before him, while Hrathra'sstah folded her arms.
"" she asked.
""
Her arms dropped to her sides as she stared at him in shock. ""
Resh'ssk nodded. ""
Her next words struck him to the heart, an icy feeling far crueler than any stab.
""
Not a trace of his inner pain showed on his face as his clasped hands clenched ever so slightly tighter. ""
Hrathra cut him off with waving hands. "" She slithered back and forth in front of him as her gesticulating grew ever more dramatic. ""
Now it was his turn to interrupt her with a gentle finger to her lips. ""
There was one long moment of mutual staring, then she lunged for him again in an attack that he accepted with literal open arms.
What with their long and muscled bodies, Jornissians are the gold-medal winners of the four Senate species when it comes to dealing out hugs. With these two Jornissians doing their very best to embrace each other, and on top of that doing their very best to kiss each other into oblivion, the resulting tangle was something that would make even Escher throw up his hands.
In the middle of Resh'ssk's bliss, he heard again the sound of a human applauding. He peered to the side and saw [Maria's] grinning face. The [human] stood just out of easy tail-slap range.
After a little bit of complicated tongue-de-tangling, Hrathra'sstah turned her head as well to regard her protege. "<[Maria]?>"
"[Yeah, boss?]"
""
"[You got it, boss.]" [Maria] gave a wink to Resh'skk before strolling away. At any other time he would have found the little alien's cockiness infuriating, but right now he was too happy to be angry. He clasped Hrathra anew to himself and kissed her snout.
"" he asked.
Hrathra'sstah rubbed her hood against his neck. "" She grinned up at him. ""
___________
The sunlight fell like a velvet hammer onto Oscar as he stepped down from the shuttle. He felt sweat begin to pop out on his forehead, and wondered if his furred crewmates would suffer even more. He supposed that the heat made sense, given that a Jornissian owned this planet.
In front of the shuttle was a wedge-shaped formation of Dorarizin wearing full armor. Oscar had seen the pictures during the one time any Dorarizin set foot on Earth. Princess Gwe-Zgranzre-of-Ngrul's honor guard had been almost as armored-up as these guys. But where their armor had been brightly colored and ornate, this armor was sleek and functional.
The armor's visual effect was to turn the already-impressive figure of your average Dorarizin into what looked like a walking tank. The sleek, ovoid, and featureless chrome helmets of the retinue tilted down as one while they regarded Oscar. After a moment, the lead Dorarizin's helmet hinged up to reveal a white-furred face with deep purple eyes. He looked at Oscar for a few seconds, then over at the sphere of Junior which hovered next to the human's shoulder.
Oscar heard the noise behind him as the rest of the crew disembarked from the shuttle. He smiled as he tried his best to keep his heartrate down. Myyreh was at his back, but asking her to take out a werewolf in power armor would be too much even for her.
"Howdy, folks!" Oscar pointed at the lead Dorarizin's armored chest. "Um, are you expecting trouble?"
The lead Dorarizin smiled in response, showing a lot more teeth. "[Not at all. I know it looks like [overkill], but we have certain security protocols that have to be followed for all visitors. I'm Nerlharg-of-Aergh.]"
Oscar settled for a bow in lieu of shaking hands. "Oliver Ward, pleased to meetcha."
"[Likewise.]" Nerlharg looked up at the others. "[I bid you all welcome. Please, follow me. His Excellency was very insistent that he meet your group right away.]"
Oscar slung his bag over his shoulder. The concrete of the landing pad let to a loose gravel pathway lined with tall greenery which was nothing like trees. There was a clear lack of bark, plus the leaves had an odd earth-brown tinge to them. The plants did provide a good amount of shade, however, which gave Oscar some relief from the heat. Further inspection revealed a few tall rod-like structures scattered here and there among the growth; these rods emitted a fine mist of water which drifted over the pathway and provided further cooling.
Nerlharg noticed Oscar's inspection. "[His Excellency's species is better built to withstand heat, but he provides for his subjects.]"
"He sure does," replied Oscar. "I already get enough grief from my non-human comrades about my water usage, so I don't want to be sweating more than I need to."
Nerlharg gave his species' bone-buzzsaw version of a chuckle, but didn't otherwise comment.
The procession crested a rise, and Oscar saw a few buildings ahead. The architecture gave the impression of a high-tech Aztec city, with multiple stepped pyramids situated along either side of the central promenade. A profusion of more greenery overhung each 'step' on the buildings. Oscar wondered if this was proper Jornissian architecture or if Sssnnathor just had a thing for pyramids.
The prominade led forward to the largest pyramid by far, a huge building that rivaled that of any Egyptian tomb. A sloping ramp led up to an entrance that one could sling a starship through. The scale was such that even the giants around him looked small as they passed underneath that over-sized arch.
Oscar wondered about the point of such overkill. Was it to show off Ssssnnathor's wealth and power? The entire planet was proof of that. Perhaps it was more of a subtle warning to any who entered, a way to say 'however big you think you are, you're in the house of someone far more important'.
Whatever the reason for the grand entryway, the pyramid's interior space was even more grand. The walls were clad in white marble with gold trim; they followed the slope of the exterior, with a spiral ramp leading up towards the apex far above. More green vines hung from the edges of the ramp, giving the whole space the air of a slightly less tacky Las Vegas casino. Three large snake-like figures waited in the center of the space in front of a long table piled high with various dishes.
The middle Jornissian could only be Sssnnathor. Oscar half expected him to be clad in some sort of outrageous Ming-The-Merciless getup, but instead he wore a sober-looking 'suit' the hue of sun-bleached bone. The white color contrasted well with his black-and-blue scale pattern.
Sssnnathor's face was split in a wide smile, and he had his arms outstretched in welcome. The guards on either side, however, looked much less friendly, what with their armor. A normal Jornissian 'exo-suit' made them look like a long dakimakura-style pillow. But these guys were all hard edges and armor plating, fitting well with the look of the crew's Dorarizin escort.
Each Jornissian bodyguard cradled a massive rifle casually in one hand; Oscar figured he just might be able to pick one of them up if he used both hands and all his strength.
Sssnnathor's purr-hiss boomed over them all. "[Welcome! You are a pleasant surprise.]" He slithered forward, his silver eyes fixed on Oscar. The tyrant glanced over at Junior as he approached, and stopped at a respectful distance as he lowered himself to look the human in the eye.
"[I apologize for staring, but this is my first time seeing one of your kind,]" said Sssnnathor.
"No problem, Mr. Snape. I'm Oliver Ward." There was no way in hell Oscar was going to get anywhere near the strangled hiss-purr of Sssnnathor's true name. He hoped that the translator matrix was doing its job.
After another moment of fascinated staring, Sssnnathor nodded and rose higher. He gestured towards the table behind him. "[Please, eat and be welcome.]"
___________
After the (fake-name) introductions and hand-shaking, Captain Rgrarshok found herself munching on a bit of grilled glrnada while inside she wondered if this had been the right course of action. Her unease wasn't helped by the fact that Sssnnathor was parked at her right elbow with a calculating smile.
"[It's always nice to have new entertainment, Captain Rgratz,]" said the tyrant. "[But I can't help but wonder why you chose to bless us with your presence. With two [humans] in your company you would have the pick of engagements, yet you come to an out-of-Senate-space backwater like this.]"
Rgrarshok swallowed her mouthful as she prepped the cover story they'd cooked up. "{This is hardly a backwater, but it's true we could name our price. If I'm honest, Excellency, we're not exactly welcome in Senate space at the moment. And it has to do with the [humans].}"
Sssnnathor tilted his hood in curiosity. "[Oh, really?]" He turned to regard the two [humans], who naturally tended to stick together and now conversed in low tones while getting covertly studied by every other person in the pyramid. "[You didn't kidnap them, I hope?]"
Rgrarshok laughed. "{Far from it. Their placement on our crew was done through legal channels...except for the fact that we submitted two applications, under two different names. My XO cooked up the scheme, and I agreed. We thought it would give us a better chance of success.}"
Sssnnathor hissed a laugh of his own. "[I suppose it makes sense from a mathematical viewpoint. After all, the odds of getting a [human] are astronomical enough as it is. Let me guess...both applications were awarded?]"
The Captain gave a weary nod and a sigh. "{The first one was a moment of utter joy for us. [Oliver] was a wonderful addition to our crew, we were so happy...and then we got word of [Masie] coming to join us. I can't tell you how much dancing we had to do so that the auditors never caught the scent that we already had another [human] on board. But we managed it, somehow. Only then to realize we were faced with quite a conundrum.}"
"[Namely, if you performed in Senate space the odds were good that the placement program auditors would find out about your [double-dipping]. Hmm, well I suppose your embarrassment of riches is also our good fortune. Otherwise it might have been centuries before my poor little planet was able to host a [human].]"
Rgrarshok performed a slight bow. "{With your kind permission, we plan to perform many times on your planet. Of course, we'll also provide you with a free private performance if desired.}"
Sssnnathor tapped a finger against his chin. "[Hmm, I don't think a private performance is necessary. I do have a gala planned in three [days] time, one where I will show off my latest acquisition. Would you do me the honor of performing there?]"
"{We'd be happy to.}"
___________
Ngralh-of-Arzgar strolled through the sunlit bazaar. He had his paws clasped behind his back in a casual manner, but his eyes never stopped moving. Ngralh was enough of a student of history to know of the primitive conditions his species had once lived under, that era far back in the mists of time when they'd been bound to one planet.
His surroundings were not that primitive, but this was about as 'squalid' as one could get in a star-spanning civlization. The booths around him were formed of cheap and flimsy plastic, tinted with a hodgepodge of colors that stated louder than words that they'd been formed from castoff pieces. The wares emphasized hand-made tools and clothing, things that were just a little nicer than what one could get while on the dole.
The air was filled with the scent of grilling meat, something else that one couldn't get while on basic income. While the smell made his mouth water a little, he was going to have to give the food-sellers a pass. Dorarizin had pretty hardy metabolisms, but there was no need to risk food poisoning.
Due to the meeting with Sssnnathor, their investigation was now two-fold. First was the hunt for the 'Silken Feather', as they'd planned. But second was an attempt to find out exactly what the tyrant's 'latest acquisition' really was. Had the thief gone ahead and sold the Claw to him?
Either way, his job was to work towards the former goal. To that end, he was looking for someone to press ever-so-gently for information.
"[A pretty scarf for your lady friend, good sir?]" The chirping voice came from a hunched-over Karnakian who presided over a rainbow-colored waterfall of fabric. Ngralh gave her a cordial nod as he stopped strolling to look over her selection. Hmmm, that purple number might look good on Egwreh.
"{How much for this one?}" In the haggling that followed he allowed the seller to get a better deal than usual, figuring that this would put her in a better frame of mind for questioning.
"[Would there be anything else, sir?]" asked the Karnakian after he'd bought two.
"{Is this the only market around? I have some colleagues who might be interested in larger items.}"
"[This is the largest market in the capital, sir.]" She leaned forward as her crest rose. "[You're with the entertainers who just arrived, yes? The ones with the [humans]?]"
"{That's right. I'm surprised word's spread this fast.}"
"[There's always interest when [humans] are involved, good sir.]"
"{I understand. Do you get many off-world visitors? We're trying to determine how much new audience turnover we can expect.}"
"[A few every [month] or so. This planet is very welcoming to all, no matter their past.]"
Ngralh gave an embarrassed click. "{How, er, segregated is it around here? I only ask because some multi-species colonies can be rough; the locals can take it the wrong way if one goes walking through another species' section of town.}"
The seller waved one casual wing-arm. "[Oh, there's no such problems around here but I would be careful, since do have some minor criminals wandering about. The various races tend to cluster together to take advantage of any species-specific infrastructure such as plumbing requirements.]"
He smiled at her and gave a bob of his head to simulate a Karnakian farewell. "[Thanks, you've been very kind.]"
Thanks to a few more generous purchases and pointed questions, Ngralh found the Karnakian portion of town. If the "Silken Feather" was in civilization, chances are it was somewhere around here. It would be far easier for her to keep track of incoming and outgoing ships, plus she'd have a handy population of raptors to get lost in.
For sure she'd be wearing a disguise. Instead of scanning each individual Karnakian that passed, Ngralh set his implant to ping him if it detected anyone matching the body proportions of their quarry.
He spent another hour walking among the Karnakians, trying to look like nothing more than a ship-bound crew member anxious to stretch his legs. His scans of the crowd turned up empty, and after a while he started to wish somebody would try to mug him. At least it would break up the monotony.
Ngralh turned down a narrow and deserted alley with walls formed of the same cheap plastic sheeting used for the market booths. He'd made it halfway down when two feathered forms suddenly blocked the far end. He stopped and glanced over his shoulder...sure enough, two more blocked the way he'd came.
The front and rear pairs of Karnakians began to close in with slow menace towards him.
"[Four against one, furball,]" said one of them. "[Not good odds. Now why don't you just hand over everything in your pockets and we'll call it good, eh?]"
Ngralh shifted his weight so that he was balanced on his toes, then extended his claws. While he might not be death-on-foot like Myyreh, he was still an experienced peace officer. That fact evened the odds more than they realized. Once he'd given these guys a good thrashing, he could lean on them for some more detailed information. His ears swiveled back as he tracked the sounds of the two behind him. They'd probably rush him first, and so he kept his back invitingly open...
A strangled chirp-roar sounded from behind him. He spun himself sideways, careful to keep the front two in his peripheral vision. Both of the Karnakians behind him sprawled twitching on the ground, each wreathed in blue electric sparks. As he took in the sight there was a blur of motion behind to the other two...
They didn't even manage a sound before they too were down and out of any possible fight. Ngralh turned carefully back to face his would-be rescuer, a green-feathered Karnakian with a yellow band around her neck.
The Silken Feather.
She stood just out of easy leaping range. The thief had never laid eyes on Ngralh during her call to the Furious Call of Inquiry, so he figured he'd play ignorant and try to lure her closer. "{You have my thanks, friend. I don't have any money on me, but if you'll follow me back to my ship I'm sure my Captain would be happy to reward you.}"
The thief snorted. "[No games, friend. You know who I am and I know who you are. A mixed-race crew who also happen to have [humans] on board, showing up in a conveniently quick manner after I placed that call? The odds of that are astronomical. I guess you tracked me after all.]"
Ngralh took in a deep, irritated breath and then relaxed. "{All right.}" He glanced again at the sprawled, shuddering bodies around him. "{You still have my thanks.}"
"[Oh, it's my pleasure I assure you. I can't allow any of our brave Senate investigators to get hurt in the line of duty, now can I?]"
The XO chuckled. "{I wasn't in that much danger. So. How easy do you want to make this? I can tell you right now the Captain is not going to allow any sale.]"
"[I would reply that it's not up to her, is it? I think the Matriarchs' opinions would carry greater weight in this case. In any case, just know that I know that you're here and that I'm watching you. I'll be in contact soon to set up the sale. Do you still have that Galnet node of mine?]"
"{Of course. It's evidence.}"
She grinned wide. "[Of course. You police must always play by the rules, eh? I'm rather surprised you don't try to tackle me right here and now.]"
Ngralh tapped the side of his nose. "{It wouldn't do any good. I smell nothing but these four bozos, which tells me I'm talking to a hard-light hologram.}"
The Silken Feather bowed her head. "[Excellent, it's always a pleasure to deal with competent adversaries. I bid you a good day, sir.]"
The green-and-yellow Karnakian vanished, leaving a small metal sphere hovering in the alleyway. The drone fizzed while its internals fried, then fell to the ground with a small thud.
Ngralh blew out a breath that any onlooker would have taken as one of frustration. But then he smiled and touched his ear. "{Egwreh, Myyreh, you're up.}"
___________
The Silken Feather maneuvered down a neighboring alley, looking behind her constantly. It had been a risk to expose herself, but the chance to show these silly police that she was on top of things was too delicious to pass up. The following negotiations would have to be done with great delicacy; she had to conceal the fact that she no longer had the Claw, while keeping in reserve her knowledge of Sssnnathor's covert activities. The latter should act as insurance in the case that she wasn't able to retrieve the Claw.
And she would retrieve that which she'd rightfully stolen. Sssnnathor was not omnipotent, and her audacity would act as a shield. The aged fool would never imagine that she'd be bold enough to try breaking into his main palace. As her mind whirled, she peered around the corner and scanned her surroundings on instinct. She saw nothing, and so she continued on her way.
The Silken Feather trotted along while plotting and was still feeling quite pleased with herself when Myrreh-of-Relgreh's fist came out of thin air and connected solidly with her jaw.
___________
The Silken Feather came to and almost on reflex reached out mentally with her implant to trigger the protective mode of her clothing. All she received was the lurch of an unsuccessful connection, which then made her realize she wasn't wearing her own clothes anymore. All she had was a simple shift made of plain fabric to protect her modesty. Locked tight around her feathered body was a cage of hard-light which allowed her to breathe comfortably...and that was about it for any movement she could perform.
As the Silken Feather blinked and shook her snout, a warbling voice intruded into her aching head.
"[Ah, you're finally awake! Sorry about taking liberties with your person, but you had way too many little goodies hidden in your clothes. We couldn't let you keep them.]"
The voice came from a small figure standing in front of her. Behind that alien was a much bigger form that she recognized as Captain Rgrarshok. The huge Dorarizin stood with folded arms and a steady, unblinking expression that was somehow more fearsome than a snarl.
The Silken Feather focused all four eyes on the small alien in front of her. It was the first time she'd laid eyes on a [human], and for a moment she stared in wonder. As all the reports said, the little-needs-protecting had a soul filled with starlight, almost like a hatchling's but much more complex.
Then her discipline reasserted itself as she took quick stock of her surroundings. She was pinned in the middle of what looked like a hangar deck of some sort. That meant she was in space and surrounded by enemies. Not to mention tied up and completely unarmed. It was a bad situation, but she'd been in worse. The most important thing for now was to appear as if she'd given up.
The Silken Feather smiled ruefully. "|I congratulate you on your plan. It was masterfully done.|"
The [human] shrugged. "[We got lucky. We didn't know if you'd realize that we were the Senate team, but we had [Ngralh] followed just in case you followed him. You didn't just follow, you actually made contact. [Ngralh] sends his regards, by the way, and thanks you again for your help.]"
The thief slumped in her bonds. "|It was my pleasure.|" She stared up at the Captain. "|Shall we make a deal, or are you just going to skip right to the torturing?|"
Rgrarshok grinned. "[Your interrogation will begin now. Go ahead, [Oscar].]"
The computer-generated cage around The Silken Feather shifted, moving her arms apart and exposing more of her keeled chest. She felt a moment of panic as the [human] wobbled towards her. Was he going to pull out a knife and start cutting on her?
The Silken Feather's shift didn't quite cover the front fluff of her chest, and as he reached her [Oscar] pushed aside some of the fabric to expose more feathers. The somewhat intimate act shocked her. She'd heard that [humans] would mate with just about anything, but surely he wouldn't resort to...that against her will?
Without a word, [Oscar] smashed himself face-first into her fluff like a nestling seeking warmth. The sensation created an automatic maternal response in The Silken Feather, causing her feathers to expand out.
"[Where's the Claw?]" asked Rgrarshok.
The thief tried to focus, but it was hard with a soft and warm little sapient doing his best to make a bed out of her chest fluff. "|Eh? Oh, that old thing? Who knows? Maybe I know, maybe I don't. You'll have to...oh...make it worth my while to...care...|"
"[Ah, you're expecting to make a deal with us?]"
The Silken Feather tried to focus, but [Oscar] was still squirming around against her chest. Her bound arms twitched...she wanted to hold the little alien in the worst way...
"|Wouldn't you, in my situation?|" she responded. "|After all, the [Claw's] location is the only bargaining chip I have right now. You must be mad if you think I'll give that up without at least an offer of amnesty.|"
{Oscar] let out a little warbling hum and reached out with both tiny hands to get a good grip on her chest fluff.
The act almost made The Silken Feather miss the Captain's next statement. "[And you must be mad if you think we'll let you go without having the Claw safe in our possession.]"
Any further strategy fled right out of her head. What was wrong with her? She was a ghost, a free soul, she was afraid of no one and wanted nothing more than lots of covert bank accounts stuffed full of credits. Now all that she could think of was the need to grasp this little being close to her, to build a nest and keep him safe and warm. The feeling was worse than any pain or injury.
"|I...well, that is...|" She shook herself and glared up at Rgrarshok. "|I have rights under Senate law! This treatment can't be legal!|"
Rgrarshok unsheathed a claw and held it up to her face. She inspected it closely as she spoke. "[What would you have to complain about? True, we have you bound at the moment but that is merely for our protection. Are we mistreating you in any way?]"
"|You know damn well what I mean...erg...can you tell him to stop squirming?|"
"[Tell him yourself.]"
The Silken Feather looked down at the little creature moving against her. "|I know what you're trying to do. It won't work.|"
"[What do you mean?]" asked [Oscar]. "[I'm tired and need a nap.]"
"|I just...please...|"
Rgrarshok chuckled. "[You know, if you wish to claim rights as a Senate citizen you'll need to tell us who you really are. It seems you've done quite an admirable job in throwing us off of your true scent.]"
The Silken Feather gritted her teeth. "|I will never tell you!|"
Rgrarshok waved her hand in a 'there it is' gesture. "[Then I guess you'll have to put up with [human] interaction. [Oscar], give me a call when you wake up and we'll continue.]" She started to lope away, only to be stopped by the Silken Feather's plea.
"|Please, no. I'll propose a deal. You release me and then I'll tell you where the Claw is.|"
"[You tell us where the Claw is and then we'll release you,]" replied the Captain.
The Silken Feather shook her crest. "|No. You can put an implant in me to track me if you like, but I won't tell you a thing until I'm out of your custody.|" She knew she was technically savvy enough to defeat any possible tracking they'd put in her, since they'd certainly try to capture her again after finding out the Claw was now in Sssnnathor's possession. After her release, she could then steal the Claw back from Sssnnathor as she'd planned. True, having the Senate team breathing on her tail would put a bit of a time constraint on things, but she was capable enough to pull it off.
[Oscar] abruptly let go of her floof and wobbled away back towards the Captain. "[She doesn't have the Claw. Not anymore.]"
Rgrarshok stroked a thoughtful claw along her chin. "[Agreed. She gave in far too easily.]"
"|What nonsense is this? Of course I have it! Not on me, obviously, but I have it stashed in a very safe location! One that you'll never discover unless I tell you. Release me and you can go get it yourself.|"
The pair of peace officers stared back at The Silken Feather for a moment.
"[If she'd sold it to [Sssnnathor], she would've been long gone with her money,]" said [Oscar].
"[True,]" replied Rgrarshok. "[So he must have found out somehow that she was here. The fact that she's alive means that he didn't get his claws on her directly. However he found out, the Claw is now in his custody.]" Her purple eyes stared steadily at The Silken Feather. [Isn't that right?]"
"|I'm not saying anything further,|" replied The Silken Feather. "|You may as well go ahead and torture me. Or whatever that was your [human] was doing.|"
[Oscar] gasped in mock horror. "[Me? Torture? No, I wouldn't dream of harming a single feather on your crest. But there are a few [Karnakians] on board whom you've wronged either directly or indirectly. I'm sure they'd be eager to...discuss...their grievances with you at great length.]"
"[Or we could just leave her tied up somewhere on the planet,]" said Rgarshok. "[Perhaps we should drop an anonymous note to [Sssnnathor] telling her where she is? Only in the interest of making sure she doesn't come to harm, of course.]"
"[Of course!]" said [Oscar].
The Silken Feather sagged once more, this time in real defeat. She had but one bit of leverage left to play. "|We can still make a deal for my release,|" she said.
"[With what information?]" asked Rgrarshok. "[If [Sssnnathor] has the Claw I'm sure you have no idea where he's hidden it. That's something we'll have to figure out.]" The Captain sighed. "[I'll bet this party of his is for showing off the Claw.]"
"[I'm not taking that bet,]" said [Oscar].
The thief shook her crest. "|I'm not talking about the Claw's location. I'm talking about [Sssnnathor] himself. He's up to something. Whatever it is involving cloning.|"
Rgrarshok placed a paw over her eyes. "[Of course he is. By the First Pack, I need a vacation.]"
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Feather Falls - YouTube Day 31 - The 365 Report March 11th, 2017 Thank You Sheriff Honea Sensacion Latina-El Ranchero Chido!!! Def Leppard Cover Band Pyromania WICKED WINNINGS 4 AT RED HAWK CASINO ivm1Entertainment - YouTube

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Feather Falls - YouTube

This is a complete video of the Thank You Sheriff Honea event at the Feather Falls Casino in Oroville California on March 11th, 2017. The RockHounds play Feather Falls Casino BBQ cook-off. Feather Falls Casino 2-2012. Charlie Daniels Reflects on His Life. Talks Skynyrd, George Harrison, Marshall Tucker & Bob Dylan - Duration: 25:08. Musicians Hall of Fame & Museum 173,494 views. New Free roundabout trips to Feather Falls Casino by ivm1 Entertainment (full v/o) - Duration: 31 seconds. 61 views; 8 years ago; 0:31. Free turnaround event to Feather Falls Casino by ivm1 ... The Chinook Peak (Built for: Feather Falls Casino) by Tiny Mountain Houses - Duration: 11 ... entertainment center) by Tiny Mountain Houses - Duration: 10:08. Tiny Mountain Houses 1,150 views. 10 ... Know your limit and use an entertainment budget only. If you think you may have a problem, visit www.ncpgambling.org in the USA at (1-800-522-4700) or look up your local branch. Feather Falls in California... It's a hike of several miles to get to Feather Falls, but the hike is well worth it. For more pictures and information on Fath... Aqui el grupo SEnsacion Latina en la Guerra de Bandas que se llevo acabo en el Feather Falls Casino. Se llevaron el segundo lugar y aunque no ganaron se llevaron el carino y la buena respuesta del ...

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