These days, the only thing more popular than tinder itself is complaining about tinder. Women complain that they can't find good guys on there, only fuckbois and deadbeats, and men sign up, get one match in 6 months and wonder "where are all da ho's at?!" It seems neither sex is happy with online dating.
And yet, the Match Group (Tinder's parent), is on track to exceed $2 Billion in revenue this year. Clearly, they're doing something right. And men and women, despite all their bellyaching, are ponying up big cash to use the app. What gives?
They key is to understand *why* OLD sucks: they suck at doing what they say they're going to do for you, and excel at doing what you really want them to do. Hence, you complain in public, while still swiping like an addicted monkey in private.
Here is what OLD *says* they're going to do: they're going to help you meet The One: your soulmate, your spouse, your partner-in-crime, ride-or-die, yadda yadda yadda. Here's what they really do: they preserve and feed your fantasy of who that soulmate actually is, tantalize you with the possibility that that soulmate is just barely, almost, oh-so-close to being yours, and hide any sort of hard truths about relationships and people that gets in the way of your delusions. And then, you pay them for helping keep your delusions alive, while publicly complaining that they're not helping you make those delusions become reality.
BTW, this is not a secret that only Tinder knows. It's called marketing 101. A beer commercial is ostensibly about selling you a nice tasting beverage that you enjoy drinking. Yet the commercials have bikini clad women surrounding the beer drinkers while they lounge around on a beach. A pickup truck is ostensibly a practical vehicle used by people who need to haul stuff around all day. Yet their commercials are all about exploring the great outdoors and tearing up trails in forests and mountains. And most of them are bought by people who'll never haul more than a "Just Married" sign and will never drive on anything more off-road than a highway with a few potholes on it.
So how does this marketing delusion work in online dating? To explore that, we have to first analyze how people found relationships before online dating. At that time, you relied pretty exclusively on your social network, e.g. friends, family, co-workers, church, and other social networks you were in. Unlike Tinder, these social networks really *do* want to see you happy and in a stable relationship (generally speaking; and yes, they may be bad at it, but most of the time, their heart is in the right place). This is for several reasons:
- They care about you and genuinely want to see you happy
- Since you're a member of their social network, it actually helps everyone else if you're stable and happy, and not miserable and always needing support from the social network rather than contributing back
- Conversely, if someone sets you up with a horrible person (or even a very mismatched person), they will face repercussions from you and everyone else when the relationship inevitably blows up. You can't sue Tinder for a date gone wrong. But you can certainly disown your friends if they set you up with a serial killer. IOW, the social network can bite back if you willfully mess things up.
Additionally, your social networks know a lot about you and (usually) a lot about the people they're matching you with. Which means they can often see through your own BS (in the way that good friends and close family usually can), and find good matches for you that you would never have considered yourself.
This system has worked for thousands if not millions of years. And most notably, OLD has none of the advantages listed above. Yet OLD has been incredibly successful and pretty much completely replaced the IRL social networks of the past. We even pay them to do what our social networks used to do for free. Why is that?
Because the mortal weakness of your IRL social networks is this: since they're not in the marketing business, they tell you hard truths you don't want to hear. I'll give you an example. When I was in my early thirties (pre-tinder), one of of my co-workers, also in her early thirties, was telling me about a date her friends had set her up with. Apparently it was a mid-forties man, balding, divorced, with a kid. She was in shock the next day. Not so much about the guy, who was nice enough. But that her friends thought that was her appropriate match. In her mind, she was still the mid-twenties hot young thing who would get cat-called in the bars. More than the guy himself, just the idea that now she was only fit for older, frumpy, divorced dads, and that furthermore *that was what her friends thought*, was too much for her to bear. But her social networks were doing the right thing. They didn't want to see her end up single and alone in 10 years. And regardless of whether that guy was the absolute best she could do, they saw her relationship value far more clearly than she did. They were a lot closer in their estimates of her value than she was.
In contrast, Tinder will happily whisper lies in your ear all day as long as you pay it to do so. In fact, for them, it's a *failure* if you find your perfect partner and ride off into the sunset, because that means you'll soon delete their app. Let me repeat that: Tinder does not want you to get married. It doesn't even want you to find someone for a year. If all of their customers found a mate within a month of being on the app, and then not check the app again for a lifetime or even a year, they'd run out of customers and go out of business. And their profits are far more important to them than your happiness.
So what are these lies?
(If you're a woman), your perfect match is a billionaire convict outlaw church-going surgeon who cries during weddings. Also has 6-pack abs and a footlong. (If you're a man), your perfect match is a Victoria's Secret Angel madonna in public, whore in bed, who does yoga 6 hours a day and gets wet just thinking about your mastery of obscure Star Wars trivia. Also has no problem blowing you in public.
Yeah, neither of these people exist. Your friends will tell you that. But Tinder never will. Not only will it never tell you that, it actively encourages everyone to lie and puff themselves up into those fantasy matches. A guy who insists on talking about his "amazing trip to Machu Pichu" 5 years after he went is considered a blowhard in real life. On Tinder, that's the picture he uses to make his life seem more exciting than it really is. Every person on Tinder is trying to convince you that they are that billionaire convict, or that yoga-addicted underwear model. Your IRL social network would weed out the phonies real quick. Tinder prefers to bump them up in your queue.
That man / woman of your dreams is just a swipe away. Who knows? They could even be the very next swipe! So just... flick your finger... one more time... Even if the people above actually exist, very, very few people can even meet them in real life. That billionaire dude doesn't hang out at Applebee's. Just getting into the restaurants / hotels / vacation resorts he stays at in order to run into him requires knowledge, money, and enough time spent studying the subtle class markers of the ultra-rich that you can pass yourself off as one of them. Similarly, just meeting a Victoria's Secret model requires running in their social circles, which typically means you're either a rich person, in the fashion and entertainment industry, or at least live in NY / LA and are willing to blow huge amounts of money on bribing the bouncers and hosts to let you into the closed clubs they hang out in. If you're really, really lucky, you might score a date because you're neighbors with their grandmother back in Kansas and she somehow convinces her granddaughter to give the nice neighborhood boy a chance when she's back home for Christmas and bored out of her skull. And even that's not as easy as a quick swipe, is it?
Everyone knows that to make a million dollars, you need to study hard, get into a good career, work your ass off, have a little luck, etc. Just like how your friends will tell you that to get a good girl, you need to work hard, lift, be sociable, and overall become a desirable guy. Tinder is the equivalent of the casino slot machine, which tempts you that that million dollar prize is just a dollar and a quick pull away. Similarly, Tinder tells you that dream guy/girl is just a quick swipe away. At least casinos are legally required to list the actual probability you have of winning that prize. Tinder doesn't even do that.
Even if your perfect match exists, and you end up meeting them, you will often find out, much to your disappointment, that they're not a great match for you. There's a great saying: "behind every beautiful woman, there's a guy tired of fucking her." That glossy exterior image is often radically different than the inside. Every guy who has dated at least a few incredibly hot women will tell you that many of them (though not all!) are not worth the hassle. It may not even be that the other person is a "bad" person. Even a good person from a radically different environment can be a bad match. For example, if you can't name at least 5 different forks and which foods to use them with, and you think being a foodie means using A1 steak sauce instead of ketchup, then you probably won't even enjoy that 3-star meal your billionaire boyfriend buys you in Paris, while he will look on in disgust at your local hometown's "world famous" hamburger you buy him.
Birds of a feather flock together. Your social network is comprised of people who are similar to you in many aspects of your life, which makes it very difficult to find people radically different in life experience / values / outlooks than yourself. Which is actually a *good* thing because people from radically different walks of life tend not to be compatible enough to build a life together. Again, say somehow through Tinder you score a date with your movie actress celebrity crush. What would you actually talk about? Do you know anything about the movie business? Could you relate to her insecurities and what she deals with going on auditions every day where random strangers tell her she's too fat / too blonde / not blonde enough / too flat-chested / too busty to ever make it in this town? Heck, forget all that: do you even know what's a fun date thing to do in LA outside of the tourist traps that locals can't stand? Conversely, what's the chance she knows anything about your life? Is there any shared experience between you two that could form the basis for a real relationship?
Again, IRL social networks know this, because they generally know both people well, and have a good sense of who's a good match for whom. There have been plenty of times when I asked my friends about a hot girl I saw at a party, and they warn me off, telling me "dude, stay away from her. She's smoking hot, but batshit crazy." Or conversely, seat me next to someone I might never have noticed, who ends up being a great person that I want to spend more time with. Tinder doesn't ever do this. If you swipe right on someone their algorithm tells them will only lead you to misery, does it ever flash a big warning sign "Caution: Do you really want to date this loser?". Of course not. It only wants to feed whatever notion of a "perfect match" you already have. And if you think a recently paroled ex-felon is your perfect match, then that's perfectly fine with them. Don't think for a second that Tinder doesn't know that 90% of a match is based on looking at the first few photographs. It doesn't care. There's a reason Tinder is more popular than eHarmony. People don't want to be told who their best match really is (often because who your match is usually reflects who *you* are...). People dream of their soul mate since they're kids. The last thing they want is someone who pours cold water all over that dream. And if your soul mate is someone from your neighborhood that went to your high school or plays softball with your friends, then you don't need Tinder to meet them. So unless Tinder can feed your fantasy that your best life partner is someone totally outside of all your social networks (a ludicrous proposition when you consider it on its merits), someone only Tinder can hook you up with, it won't be able to convince you to trust Tinder over your IRL social networks.
There's an old saying: if at first you don't succeed, redefine success. Tinder has redefined success in the relationship world to "getting a match from someone." In the real world, it never mattered how many "matches" you got. There wasn't even a concept of that. It only mattered if you eventually found someone to spend your life with. When your friends set you up and you two decide after a couple of dates that it's not going to work out, your friends usually consider that a failure, because their goal is to help you get into a relationship, not just to go on a single date. Tinder's standards for success are much lower.
Of course, Tinder has been helped in this regard by the slut-pride movement that states the marker of a woman's success and worth is the number of dicks she's had inside her, rather than the quality of the man she actually ends up with. But Tinder's measure of success is even shallower. They consider it a success if you "match" even if that never even leads to a meeting in real life. More importantly, they've convinced *us* that the app was successful if it "matched" you with someone, regardless of whether that match went anywhere. It's instructive to see women write in their Tinder bios that they're "sick of fuckbois, not looking for hookups," etc. Yes, they're stupid because they're on a hookup app saying these things, but the amazing thing is, they don't blame the app itself, they blame the people on it. Because Tinder has redefined success in OLD as getting a match. Everything else is the responsibility of the person they matched you with, even if Tinder is the one that made the match on shoddy criteria that were destined to fail. In the early days of OLD, dating sites used to advertise the number of marriages that occurred from their site. You'll notice no one does that now. Because they realized marriages are bad for business, but to avoid the dearth of marriages being viewed as a product failure, they had to redefine success and make you accept the new definition as merely being "matched". Which we have.
Let's say you make it through all of this. Your dream mate actually exists. He / She actually happens to be on Tinder and both of you somehow decide to swipe on each other. Then you navigate the minefield of messages / texting / phone calls until you finally manage to get coffee together. And despite your dream match being a ski instructor from Switzerland who only speaks French, while you've never made it past your high school Spanish classes and haven't traveled outside of your state, you realize he shares your passion for watching Kim Kardashian on E!. The final question: why do you think he'd be interested in you? We laugh at the women featured on WAATGM who are all looking for some incredibly desirable guy while offering nothing of value themselves. But we all fall into that delusion, and Tinder feeds that. Once they've redefined success as getting a match, something that can even happen on accident (oops! I meant to swipe left! Crap!), then you feel like someone actually likes you if they match you. Again, we laugh at instagram ho's who define their life's worth by the number of likes their ass shots get. We wonder if they ever consider that 90% of those likes are from thirsty dudes in India and Saudi Arabia that they would never even touch with a 10-foot pole. And yet, if you get a "match" from some hot girl, even if she unmatches you right away, or after a couple of text messages, we take that as a sign that, "if a girl that hot matched with me, then surely one of them will actually go on a date with me soon!" And you keep swiping. We criticize women who think that just because some dude had a one night stand with her, that she's close to getting a relationship with him. And yet Tinder has convinced us that just because we occasionally get a match with a random hot guy/girl that if we keep swiping, eventually one of those matches will turn into a real date which will turn into a steady relationship, which will turn into...all your dreams coming true! But just like a fuckboi is only into fucking you, Tinder is only into getting you "matches". It has no interest in things proceeding further, and its algorithms are not designed to help their matches do so. Indeed, just like a fuckboi hopes you don't actually find a real relationship since then you might cut him off, Tinder hopes that match doesn't lead to anything beyond a one night stand, because otherwise, you might delete their app.
Needless to say, IRL social networks are very aware of this. Which is why sometimes they tell you a hard truth like, "dude, don't bother. That girl is way out of your league. She only dates football players." Because the last thing they want to see is you getting shot down unnecessarily.
So back to my co-worker, the 30 year old who got setup with a 45 year old divorced dad by her friends. Her friends knew she was finally looking for a serious relationship (she probably told them she was "tired of fuckbois" or whatever they were called back then :-), so they eliminated all the players and even the potentially good guys who weren't ready to settle down yet. Then they waded through whatever BS checklists she had and tried to figure out what was truly important and what wasn't, then eliminated guys who didn't at least have the important stuff. Then they eliminated people that had nothing in common with her, or who wouldn't be a good match for her personality. Lastly, there were probably a few amazing guys that checked all her boxes, but who her friends knew were way out of her league and were probably dating younger, hotter girls. And they eliminated them so that my co-worker wouldn't get her heart broken when (after sleeping with her) they decide she's not up to their standards for an LTR. Finally, after all that weeding out, they figured maybe this 45 year old divorced dad, who may not have all his hair or 6-pack abs but was still a good guy who was genuinely interested in settling down, and was still young enough to be willing to have kids with a new wife, and who was at the peak of his career and could provide a good life for her and any future family, is not such a bad match for her. But all she could see was that accepting him would mean she was no longer that hot girl at the club that all the guys would buy drinks for and she wasn't ready to do that yet.
At that point, if Tinder existed, she probably would have gone on the app, started swiping left and right, get quick reassurance that indeed, she was still that hot girl thanks to all the matches she got from hot guys in random towns 50 miles away, none of whom she'd actually ever meet, reject her friends' advice and trust Tinder instead. Later that night, when she was lonely and wondering if she'd every find a guy to love her, she'd still reject calling that 45 year old guy, who would have taken her out to dinner and maybe even found a lot of common ground and shared experience despite their age difference. Instead, she'd swipe right on a random guy who Tinder selected for her mainly based on the fact that he was within her listed age range and was only 1 mile away (even if he was only a tourist visiting from Australia for 3 days), since that's the only real piece of data Tinder actually has on anyone. And she'd fuck him that night. He'd leave before she wakes up, to get to the airport and fly home halfway around the world. And in the morning, waking up to an empty bed, she'd blame a) the guy for skipping out, even though she knew he's from Australia; b) the 45 year old dude for not being younger / hotter / fashionable enough to give her the tingles; c) her friends for thinking he was in her league; d) the entire world for being cruel and leaving her single and unhappy despite being such a great catch. IOW, she'd blame every thing out there, except the one thing that actually was preventing her from doing the work and making the sorts of compromises and decisions necessary to find and keep a long-term, happy relationship. Nope. Far from blaming Tinder, she opens her phone, starts up the app again, and goes through the swiping drill again, hoping that this time, finally, she hits that jackpot the app keeps telling her is right around the corner...
All of a sudden, Tinder making $2 billion doesn't seem so far fetched, does it?
Here is a 1-shot adventure I made, that could easily be fixed to suit any campaign! It comes complete with a whole town, some notable NPCs, some games to play while they are there, and a heist adventure if your players are keen!I playtested it with my group last Friday and they loved it :) Let me know what you think, or if you play it with your group!
The group has come to the bustling town of Everhaven, a massive stone city in the middle of nowhere outside of all lordly jurisdiction. What once was a safehaven for unlawful deeds, gangs and thieves and murder, has since become an incredible tourist attraction for upper-class citizens to feel the thrill of skullduggery with minimal risk (as well as those looking for an easy pocket to pick). With buildings stretching towards the sky engraved with immaculate relief decor along its pillars and archways; gold and jeweled accents; and magically enhanced lighting illuminating every corner, rooftop, and statue, the city of Everhaven is an overwhelming mecca of visual stimulation.You arrive at the main square, where hundreds of other carriages are dropping off persons of every shape and size. A large group of richly adorned dwarves with gems on every finger scramble out of a red velvet carriage and immediately begin arguing about which attraction to visit first. A few high elves laugh behind their hands, though their red cheeks reveal their obvious drunken state, while leaning against a statue of angels playing fanfare trumpets in every direction - light spewing out of the metal horns in a magical rhythmic dance into the sky above. To your right is a large stable run by a sturdy group of stablehands, who are keeping busy taking care of the myriad of animals being herded into the city with frantic efficiency. Leaning against the stables are a group of rough and unfriendly looking folks, scars streaking across their exposed skin and blades at their belts. If the group talks to them, or succeeds on a 12 PER check, these are mercenaries to be hired for protection for pickpockets. (use the thug statblock (mm pg 350) for 2 silver per day or veteran (mm pg 350) for 2 gold per day).
Eventually, an overzealous male half-elf (Fenian, The Silver Song)
approaches you, adorned with a sequin silver vest and small white lute. He wears a hat with bells that jingles incessantly as he strides up to greet you. He offers to give you a tour of the city, and he specializes in the grand jewel of the of Everhaven - The Clover. He asks for 10 silver for the regular tour, with the best-selling vocalization, or 20 silver for without music accompaniment.Anyone with a passive perception of 10 or less will at some point, if not multiple points, be pick pocketed during their stay unless they hired a guard.On the tour he points out the various mercenary groups along the way, and makes note of the major attractions. The group can also see these if they decline his services:
- The Houndgrave - the shabby pub where mercenaries hang out while in-between jobs. It is an unwashed tavern that most tourists don’t venture to, as it is pretty standard and boring - when you walk in, you immediately greeted with eye rolls and sighs, and a weary Tiefling female mercenary (Fage) approaches you asking if you are looking for an escort through town. There are swords, shields, and stuffed creature heads adorning the walls and empty bottles along the rooftop inner ledge. A roaring fire is off to the far left, and the bar with a hardy human woman (Estella) with an eyepatch behind the bar reaching for a top-shelf liquor on a ladder. She is serving a very excited looking, and out of place, elven man (Dyanmore) escorted by a tired old half-orc man (Two-Tooth) and his dog (Fang), but looks half drunk yet efficient. Two-tooth is a veteran of Everhaven, and know just about all there is to know about this town, though he is short on words.
- The Pepper Parlour - a huge buffet, which spans hundreds of long tables being served water, wine, and ale from overworked servers in skimpy, tight uniforms (male and female). Against the entire far wall are foods of all type - starting with cooled foods such as fresh fruit and vegetables, cold soups, cured meats, and iced sweets and moving on to hot foods like roasted potatoes and turnips, a magically rotating pig over a fire, boiling broths, steamed vegetables with exotic spices, savory noodles dripping with cheese, crispy fried meat, and sauces both sweet, spicy, and salty. There is an extensive dessert table with with honeyed pastries, candied almonds, creamed porridge, dates, figs, and chocolates.The floor is sticky and there are crumbs and bones everywhere, despite dozens of goblins shuffling around trying to clean faster than the patrons can messy the place up.
- The Velvet Chariot - One of the 3 major casinos, where the theme is elegant, classy, and lush. The casino itself is rich with velvet tapestries hung from the ceiling in waves, and each game table is on its own raised platform surrounded by gold bars, with marble steps leading up to it. Each platform has its own security guard, in crushed red velvet with a gold hand brooch pinning the uniform across their chest. Small pixies flitter to and fro each guard delivering messages.Features a fighting pit that has nightly bouts between all sorts - ferocious creatures, knights, bandits, and local gangs all compete for glory and gold. The fighting pit is in the basement, dozens and dozens of winding staircases leading into a huge arena style seating with black painted walls and a single bright white light illuminating the sanded court. They do not take drop-in offers for fighters, but you can sign-up for a bout later in the week if you should be interested.
- The Lunar Court - another Casino, with a dark and entrancing vibe. The roof is enchanted to look like a clear midnight sky with thousands of constellations above. The casino is made up of rows of long hallways, with each game table separated from one another in small alcoves of draped black lace, with plush cushions around a low table. On a PER 13, you can see small silver metal eyes nestled in the drapery flicking back and forth to keep an eye for security. Black and Blue Huge Dragonborn walk the halls in nothing but airy trousers gathered at the hips and ankles, adorned at the wrists and ankles by dazzling diamond bands. (roaming security)Features an elaborate spa with many relaxing attractions, such as heated pools in mushroom-filled grottos, frozen caves filled with crystals, black rooms with salted waters where you can swim with glowing fish, rooms filled with powerful waterfalls, scenic baths enchanted to be overlooking amazing views of forests with magical creatures walking nearby, lava-filled volcanoes, high in the clouds with birds and dragons flying nearby, or underwater amongst coral. They also offer a diverse menu of massage for all needs - gentle, aggressive, with tools such as stones or needles, and other additional services.
- The Smiling Lady - In the center of the town square made up of the three major casinos, a huge gold statue of an elegant woman in flowing robes, with a well-placed slit along the side exposing her graceful thigh stands tall. Her smile is enchanting as she holds up a huge levitating coin, rotating between her extended hands. Glowing water shines bright falling across the statue onto the monolith she stands on below. Around the statue are water jets shooting off radiant water in varying intervals. It is a statue of Tymora, or Lady Luck, and the patron saint of Everhaven. It is common to see people toss a coin into the fountain for good luck. (if you toss a coin, gain 1 Luck point)On the hour, every hour she rotates 90 degrees to face a different casino in a huge show of dancing lights and water. Regulars believe this to be a sign that whichever casino she faces is lucky, and there is a flux of people moving from one casino to the next each hour.On a PER 13 check, you can see that there is a room beneath her for mechanics to help fix any broken mechanisms. There is a locked metal cellar-like door leading to it. Spoiler: Through the mechanic's chamber's they find an underground labyrinth connecting all of Everhaven’s attractions.There lies a poem engraved into the stone monolith:"Don't push her far or you may findYour adventures to be through.But on the draw, the stroke, the streakThe Lady smiles on you."
- The Clover - The center of the three casinos, The Clover is the oldest of Everhaven’s buildings. You wouldn’t know it from looking at it, as it is also the town’s best-earning attraction and features top of the line decoration. With a towering clocktower, that is said to be the most accurate in the world, mounted above the wide entrance, the Clover is framed by rows upon rows of stained glass windows featuring fields of flowers and clovers, raining down golden coins from a sunny sky. It features the most expansive space for gaming, hosts elaborate shows for entertainment, and the bar is the cheapest in town, with the prettiest looking staff.The decor of The Clover is bright and happy - dreamy neon colors, with a general favoring of green and yellow, bright flashing lights, statues frozen mid leap in the air, or with glimmering jeweled balls suspended in bronze, or with hands and kicks stopped mid dance. There are streamers strung between pillars, which are made up of a clear translucent material which refracts light into thousands of shapes and colors along the room and the faces of the guests. There is loud music being played by a live band in the middle of the room, with a gentle male baritone singer hugging his wand and whispering with soft lips into its amplifying abilities. The roof is incredibly high, with a crystal domed ceiling and similar stained glass windows from the front circling around it.Each gaming table is in the open middle room, with game masters dressed in elaborate Masquerade type clothing - ruffles, feathers, sequins, and decadent makeup. The security is similarly dressed, but less complicated, and wear full porcelain masks.The building is made up of 3 sections:
- The center, main casino.
- The Bar is to the far left, which is equally flashy as the main casino. Here there are rows of booths where patrons can relax and have drinks, and the servers are very athletic dressed in very little more than feathers and sequins in appropriate places and luxurious headdresses. Your server is a handsome male human, tanned and covered in black sequins augmenting his robust muscles. (Balor) He is kind and flirtatious, but with an INS 12 you can see he hates this job and feels demeaned. Offers you an all you can drink special for 1 gold, or free if you become a member. It costs nothing to become a member but your signature on a hefty contract, written with your own spit. The pen is enchanted to know if you don’t write your own name. They also offer a wide range of food and snacks, also free for members or 2 silver per plate.
- The Stage is to the far right, with space for about 200 to sit and watch. The walls are angled mirrors, so they reflect in a kaleidoscope effect what is happening on stage. Every hour on the hour a captivating show takes place, rotating between tamed creatures performing tricks, acrobatics, live bands, jesters, live battles between skilled swordsman, magicians, sexy dance routines, and clerics performing rites of luck on all guests attending. (Clearly timed that way to stop the steady flow of people, should Lady Luck turn her back that hour)
If the group is having enough fun just exploring - let them. Otherwise, if they make enough money or make enough of a ruckus, then a stranger will approach them with a plan too good to pass up.
This female purple-skinned tiefling (Marzas Alrozath)
has a scar over one eye and is missing a few teeth, but is otherwise well kept and clean. Her hair is shaved in zigzag patterns on both sides and a ponytail at the back. She wears padded black leather, with various pockets sewn in. Her belt has too many coin purses. She takes you to the Pepper Parlour and pays for your meals “There is no better place to talk of such matters than in a room full of raucous pigs.” She explains that she is interested in working with you to break into The Clover’s vault. There is more money there than God knows what to do with. It is heavily guarded with too many traps. She heard from a good source that there is, however, a way around the majority of these hazards - a central access point to the subterranean cellars connecting all of Everhaven together. She knows it's somewhere in the middle of town, but hasn’t been able to find where yet. She asks you to seek it out, as she cannot do it herself as they have her records on file (she became a member years ago, and they have her spit to track her movement inside the casino. If the party is already members they have disadvantage on any stealth checks made while in the Clover. The secret entrance is underneath the Smiling Lady Statue through the mechanic's entrance)
Alternatively, you can try and find someone in The Clover who has little loyalty to the company, or someone who knows the space well can help you? Perhaps a key, or a map, or intel on what awaits you? (Fenian the guide, Balor the server at The Clover's Bar, or Two-Teeth at the Houndgrave) Map to the Clover's Staff Area (accessible through the far back of the casino)
(one with traps, one without) TRAPS: If any traps go off, make an additional stealth check for alerting the guards (except for Trap 4)
- Trip wire - PER 12 check to notice the wire, or DEX 12 save to avoid stumbling.
- Door trap - DEX 12 save. A heavy iron block falls on your head. Take 1 D6 damage you are Stunned for 1 minute, with disadvantage on any saving throws for 10 minutes.
- Door trap - DEX 12 save. A heavy iron block falls on your head. Take 1 D6 damage and you are Stunned for 1 minute, with disadvantage on any saving throws for 10 minutes.
- Huge metal locked door to the vault - PER 12 check to notice the trap. If door isn’t unlocked the right way, then a loud siren goes off and you are Deaf for 1 minute (alerts the guard immediately).
- Trip wire - PER 12 check to notice the wire, or Con 15 save or be be blinded for 1 minute
- The floor in this room is jiggly. Movement across the room sends nearby creatures bouncing into the air. A successful Intelligence (Investigation) or Intelligence (Arcana) check (DC 15) will grant knowledge of how the jelly floor acts. A Wisdom (Perception) check (DC 15) is required to notice the jelly floor. The walls themselves are slightly sticky, which allows you to walk across.The floor feels like hard stone when lightly touched touch, but while walking across the floor or if hit, it really jiggles. A creature, and any creature who is within 5 feet of them, who is walking across the floor is tossed 10 feet into the air, hits the ceiling and takes 1d6 bludgeoning damage.
- If you don’t approach the door from the walls or ceiling (aka you open it from the floor), sleep gas is emitted into the hallway. (DC 15 Wisdom saving throw)
- Motion sensor - If the door wasn’t opened correctly, then this automatically goes off. Dex save or else darts shoot from the corners, take 2D6 damage.
- Tripwire - PER 12 check to notice the wire, or 12 DEX save to avoid stumbling.
- Tripwire - PER 12 check to notice the wire, or spikes fly out from the group. Take 1 D10 piercing damage
- Pressure plates - PER 12 to notice the plate, or else the pressure plates release sticky slime to the ground which acts as difficult terrain and sticks to your feet for 1 minute after leaving the terrain.
CASINO GAMES (all Dealers / Game Masters have a DC 13 against sleight of hand checks)
- Holding Cells: 1 drunkard who can’t be woken up, 1 thief who claims he is really good at picking locks and sleight of hand.
- Security: A room full of 15 divination sorcerers sitting in a circle. They have their eyes closed and are surveying the casino. There are also 5 fully armed security guards at the walls watching the sorcerers for any sign of a problem.
- Technician room: A room full of gears, screws, hammers, nails, clamps, and moving parts. Smells like oil.
- Cold storage: rows and rows of raw food.
- Changing rooms: 4 rooms filled with ridiculous clothing, some gold, and food. 2 rooms are locked, with 1 having someone changing who screams when you come in, the other has a key in their costume.
- Cleaning closet: full of brooms, cleaning agents, and towels. Has a map of The Clover (no traps).
- Break room: Food, snacks, and some booze. Has a skeleton key in one of the lockers.
- Offices: Keys, maps (no traps), chest (Sleight of hand 20) with instructions about traps and how to disarm them
- Armory: 20 swords, 20 daggers, 20 shields, 20 half plated armors, 2 healing potions, 2 poisons.
- Vault: 20,000 gold worth of coin, jewelry, and gems. Also a few magical weapons and armor that must be inspected by an agent to determine their worth (as I wrote this as a 1-shot)
Lucky 7s - Roll 2D6. Players bet either over or under 7. Players can either double down or quit - pot then doubles until either the players cash out, they choose wrong, or a 7 is rolled. Once a 7 is rolled, the house wins.
Devil's Dice - Roll 3D6. Players pick a # between 1-6. If 0 of the dice match this number, the house wins. If 1 of the dice match, they win back their bet. If 2 match, they double their bet. If 3 match, they triple their bet.
High or Lower - Roll 2D6. Dealer shows 1 dice to player, and the player has to guess whether their sum is higher or lower than the Dealer's dice. Can double down, and then roles swap for who shows their dice first. I tried making a few games that weren't just dice games, but also offered some role play elements.
Karaoke - Roll performance against the crowd's reaction. Roll 1D20 against the player's Performance (Player's have advantage if they perform a duet). Earn 1 gold for the difference between these rolls (ie: Player's rolled a 18 performance, DM rolled a 12. Players earn 6 gold)
Dunk the Drunk / Archery - Roll for a ranged attack. 10-15 earns back their bet. 15-20 earns double the bet. 20+ earns double the bet plus a special item (up to DMs discretion)
Hammer Strike - Simple enough - DC 15 Athletics wins double the bet.
*edit - Forgot to add in the casino games like I promised - whoops!
Combined ~$85k gross. Lots of changes since my last diary!
I'm still long winded! Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: $2,178.34 - 6.5%. Employer will put in 7.5%, vested at 5 years. B and I work at the same place, I'm guessing his balance is around $30k as he's vested.
Equity: I live with my fiance B. His 2 bed/1 bath house was paid off before we started dating. I'd say about $25k equity. VLCOL area.
Savings account balance: $517 in a HYSA.
Z's expense account: $245. I randomly put chunks of my child support in here to pay for school lunch and pictures, extracurriculars, co-pays, etc.
Wedding fund: $0, I just paid the deposit for our photographer ($400) and bought save the dates ($133).
Checking account balance: $1,831.04
Credit card debt: $4,055.62. Down $700 from my last diary when I was too scared to add the numbers up. I will hopefully be able to pay most of this off with my tax return.
Student loan debt: $30,287.51 for my LPN program and ADN, still in my grace period from my attempt at my BSN last fall. I should be paying my interest but alas, I'm not.
Clinic bill: $990.89. Somehow they got my old insurance company to cover my CT, so this is the remaining balance. Section Two: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $2300 for me. Just got a raise to $28.11 base and the shift differential was increased a bit. B brings home ~$1500 depending on how his on-call weeks fall. We are both hourly and get that sweet, sweet extra check 2x/year (looking at you January). We have separate accounts.
Side gig: B is a volunteer firefighter and gets paid once a year in November. The amount depends on the number of calls he responds to. Last year it was about $1250 and he used it for Christmas spending. I pick up some OT here and there.
Any Other Monthly Income: $531 child support Section Three: Expenses Pre-Tax Deductions
Health insurance: $514/month for Z and myself (plus $1200/year deductible).
Vision and dental: $81.54/month for Z and myself.
FSA: $140/month. I'm able to flex daycare as well as health care costs. Will be adjusted in January to about $250/month and I'm going to cry when I see my paychecks. Monthly Expenses
Rent/mortgage: B's house is paid off. My daughter Z lives with us the majority of the time, and B's stepson E is here every other weekend.
Home insurance: $127, B pays. It's combined with his car insurance.
Savings contribution: I aim for $200 into the wedding fund, $150 into the emergency fund. I haven't put anything in since September since I'm paying to get out of my old house (ending contracts, dumpster fees, final bill payments).
Debt payments: credit cards - $170, clinic bill - $100. B throws money towards a snowblower he bought last month on a 0% interest promo, his only debt right now. Amount owed is $1600 - it's a pretty sweet machine.
Donations: ad hoc throughout the year, most ends up going to the kids' schools.
Electric: Between $60-160 depending on the season, B pays. I will cover more day to day expenses in the summer to make up for it.
Natural gas: $56, B pays.
Watesewegarbage: ~$60, B pays.
School lunch: $46. I pay.
Daycare: $29/week school year rate. I reimburse myself from my FSA.
Groceries: Around $400 for all of us. B and I trade off.
Wifi: $75, B pays.
Bed payment: $140/month, 4 months left. I paid half up front and financed the rest. I pay.
Car payment: $405.27 for my car. B's car and truck are paid off.
Cellphone: $275. 4 unlimited lines, 3 phone payments (ouch we're dumb), and $8/month for Z's new tablet. I went through our bill line by line and was shocked at how much I was paying for stuff we didn't need, like visual voicemail and high tier insurance, so I cut it way back. I pay.
Subscriptions: $84 for Netflix, Hulu Live, Apple storage for Z, Pandora Premium (couldn't give up my playlists) and Dollar Shave Club. I pay and share.
Prescriptions: $14 out of my FSA.
Eyelash extensions: $120
Amazon subscribe and save: It varies, but ~$40 for energy drinks and OTC meds every month. Other stuff like paper products, furnace filters and litter genie refills as needed. I pay. Other Expenses
Property Taxes: $507/year. B pays.
Amazon Prime: $59/year, still on my student email. I pay and share with B.
Pet expenses: 3 dogs and 1 cat combined! $33.49/month dog food. $28.60/every 3 months cat food & litter (all through Chewy). $240/year for doggie haircuts. I pay for all this, plus my animals' shots as needed. B pays for his dog's shots and treats/toys. We keep going back and forth on pet insurance, although I know we should just get it.
Car insurance: $258.50 every Feb/August for my car.
Car registration: $293/year, also due in Feb.
Z's extracurriculars (dance and taekwondo): ~$600/year, depending on costume/shoe costs. I pay. Day 1: Saturday
12 AM: I still don't sleep at night, even on my days (nights?) off. I spend time online designing our wedding and reception invitations, updating our wedding website and searching for a bakery. I'm quite pleased with my progress. We have a reception venue, DJ, photographer, officiant and are doing our own food. Just need desserts and a ceremony space.
3 AM: Titanic is on! I've seen it approximately 187 times and still cry every time Rose lets Jack go. I put on some nail polish strips (yes they are Color Street, please don't kill me) and make a bag of popcorn. Kick myself for the popcorn because I'm supposed to be IF.
6:30 AM: Head downstairs to sleep. Spoiler alert: I don't. B wakes up at 7:30, gets a few minutes of cuddles and goes upstairs. Dink around on social media for a while and drink almost my entire 40 oz water bottle. Why am I always so thirsty when I go to bed? Make a mental note to track my water intake.
10:05 AM: The dogs are barking frantically at the air. B lets them out to play in the yard for a while. Bed payment comes out of my account. I eventually fall asleep.
3:15 PM: B comes down to wake me up. We are going to see one of my favorite local bands at the casino and staying overnight. It's a Halloween party and I can't wait to see the crazy costumes. We had a garage sale last month and hoarded some of that money for this weekend. I pack a few things in the overnight bag and trudge upstairs for a body shower. I clean my eyelashes with special foam soap and wash my face with Cerave Hydrating face wash in the shower. Get out to brush and seal my eyelashes, put some hydrocortisone on my eyelids to fend off my eczema, and apply COSRX BHA Blackhead Power Liquid to the rest of my face. Still don't wear makeup. Brush my teeth and spritz on Poison Girl by Dior perfume. Look at me with the grown up products! I refresh my waves with a DIY spray bottle of LA Looks Gel and water and I'm ready to go. Somehow, B is not despite being up since 7:30. 🙄
4:30 PM: We put the dogs in the garage and head to my old house to put my couch and recliner on the curb since it's a surprisingly nice day, 62°. Fingers crossed someone picks them up. We stop for beer (B pays $29.15) and fill up my car with gas ($28, I pay). I send an e-gift card ($40) to a coworker for her baby shower gift and drink a Monster Zero Ultra during the ride.
5:45 PM: Check into the hotel. I pre-paid in July so no charge today. Break my fast with a Redd's - I fully intend to overindulge tonight.
6:45 PM: Head down to the casino restaurant for supper. I get breaded shrimp, B orders boneless wings. We both drink water to prep for the long night. $30 with tip, B pays since I got the hotel. One of my CNAs messages me about getting their asses chewed in report. Sigh.
8:00 PM: Slot machine time!! I lose $40, go figure. We meet up with a bunch of friends from work and get ready for the show.
10:30 PM: I am front row center with the band. I love these guys! They play covers but dang, they are talented. I scream my head off, take tons of Snapchats, dance with my friends and drink too many beers. Best costume: Big Bird, who sheds yellow feathers all over the dance floor.
Daily total: $108 Day 2: Sunday
1:00 AM: Show is over and I am officially tipsy. B manages to get me up to our room after I win back $20 on the slots. Our best man randomly stops up for a beer. I have the good sense to rinse off the sweat and apply a vitamin C cream to my face. Adult time ensues, and we pass out around 3:30.
8:18 AM: I'm up! We spent $60 on beers and tips last night. My throat is killing me from all the yelling. We cuddle for a while and talk about how much I needed a night out. I've been stressed lately between fighting with my mom about wedding planning, finances and feeling a lack of respect at my job. B assures me for the 15th time that he's fine with our money set up, and I finally break down and text my boss. I brush my teeth and we check out of the hotel.
9:45 AM: I feel like garbage so obviously I need McDonald's breakfast. ($6.19) Stop to make sure my tires are aired up properly and finish the journey home. PSA: temp changes dramatically affect your tire pressure. Take care of your tires.
10:20 AM: The dogs are very happy to see us. Our incredibly nice neighbor lets them out when we are gone. We play in the yard for a while, then I unpack our bag and start some laundry. B makes a pizza for himself.
12:30 PM: My eyelids are twitching which means my body is tired. Bring my youngest dog
to bed and have a very nice nap after catching up on some Money Diaries and chugging more water.
4:45 PM: The dogs are once again barking frantically and the next thing I know, Z is in my bed! Her grandma brought her home, what a gem. It was Z's cousin T's birthday today, so Z got up at 5:30 to make and serve T breakfast in bed with grandma's help. Z is such a sweet kid. She tells me she wants purple eyeliner for Halloween; she's going as Elsa. I need to replace mine anyways so I find a set with 3 colors on Amazon and pull the trigger on a purple sweater that's been in my cart since August. ($50.58) She watches YouTube videos on her iPad while I scroll the interwebs.
5:30 PM: B makes supper. He fries some burgers and makes French fries in the air fryer. After we eat, we settle into the living room and watch It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.
Sundays are family movie night in our house, but we're all too tired to start anything else. Z is out by 8 which is early even for her 6 year old standards. B turns on the World Series and I fall asleep immediately.
10:15 PM: The dogs want to go out, so I oblige. Throw the ball for our lab
a few times, but it's 34° so the little dogs don't last long. B wakes up from his recliner nap and goes down to bed. I turn on HGTV for beach night. I'm so jealous of all these people living on the ocean. My fav CNA texts me about her night at work. I'm immediately frustrated at the way she's being treated but I try to calm her down. She contemplates requesting a meeting with the boss, and I encourage her to do so.
Daily total: $116.77 Day 3: Monday
12:30 AM: My schedule changed last month to every Tu-W-Th, but this week I work M-Tu-W so I can take Z trick or treating. So I stay up watching HGTV and texting with the girls at work.
2:36 AM: I don't hear B come upstairs and I scream when he says "boo!" He drinks a glass of milk and goes back down to bed. I make popcorn and start reading a random YA book that was free on my Kindle app. I can't really do anything around the house when I stay up because Z's bedroom is right off the living room, and our bedroom is in the basement along with the washer and dryer. The floors are creaky in too many spots and B is a light sleeper. I mostly cuddle with the dogs.
4:00 AM: Decide to lay in bed and keep reading. I have to kick the cat
out of my spot and she's meowing in protest. B's alarm goes off at 4:45 and I fall asleep shortly after he goes to work.
7:20 AM: Now it's my alarm going off. Z is already awake so I ask her to get ready for school. She argues with me every morning because "school is boring mom!!" Only 7 months left until summer break... I stop at the old house to turn on the heat so the pipes don't burst, and drop Z off at school. Nobody picked up the couch, dang it.
8:15 AM: The cell phone and Hulu withdrawals hit my account, and I spend a few minutes categorizing transactions in my bank app. Pick up around the house a bit and Swiffer up dog hair. It's amazing how much our lab sheds.
11:00 AM: I'm back in bed with my Kindle book. Eventually fall asleep.
5:15 PM: My alarm goes off. I send a message to Z and make sure she's home (she is). We got her set up with Messenger for Kids a few weeks ago and she's obsessed. I get dressed for work, brush my teeth, put some dry shampoo on my roots and some BHA on my face. Grab last night's leftovers and out the door I go. My CNAs are so happy to see me. Drink my Monster during report per usual.
9:45 PM: 6-10 is always the busiest part of our shift, but tonight goes smoothly knock wood
. I even remembered to get my votes in on DWTS. Wtf is Spicer still doing there?! I heat up my two burger patties with cheese (no bun), grab a yogurt and some carrots for dinner. I do OMAD on work days. I've lost 18 pounds so far!
Daily total: $0 Day 4: Tuesday
1:30 AM: THE COMPUTERS ARE BEING SO SLOW AND I WANT TO DIE.
2:01 AM: The entire system is down now. FML.
2:56 AM: We talk about a tattoo my coworker wants to get on her ass. Apparently a local tattoo shop is running a Halloween special this weekend. She's 20 and it shows, but I love her to pieces. She recently went through a health scare with a tumor in her humerus, but it's thankfully benign and I'm glad to have her back at work.
4:10 AM: The computer system is finally back up so I finish my charting. Check out the web for stamps for wedding stuff. I find a deal on eBay and order 400. ($163.96) The first part of my child support is deposited so I move some money into Z's account and round up my savings to $600.
5:30 AM: We still have the same morning routine: B brings Z to work with him, and I drop her off at daycare when I get done with work. It was a great shift tonight!
6:30 AM: Z has a complete breakdown at daycare when I drop her off, which is very unlike her. I think she's used to spending Monday evenings with me and is thrown off this week. She's always a little attached when she comes back from her dad's. I get home to shower and wash my hair, which is my least favorite chore. I wash with Shea Moisture Coconut and Hibiscus shampoo, condition with Suave Essentials Coconut conditioner and brush it with the conditioner in. Put in some smoothing cream, gel and toss it in a tee shirt. My hair is to the middle of my back, so this is a freaking workout. Use the Vit C cream on my face again. Let the dogs out and put them away in the garage before I go downstairs to read and fall asleep around 11. B comes home on his lunch break every day and lets the pups out.
5:00 PM: I'm up. Normal pre-work drill. B says that one of the girls from work wants the couch, so we go to load it up and it's already gone!! Thank goodness. I drop Z off at taekwondo and head to work.
6:30 PM: Boss is still here so we have a good chat which results in me crying in his office. Embarrassing… Drink my Monster and get working.
10:17 PM: Another decent evening. I didn't bring any leftovers so I raid the kitchen and make myself a taco salad with lettuce, black olives, tomatoes, cheese, ground beef and sour cream. Yum.
Daily total: $163.96 Day 5: Wednesday
2:21 AM: Is there something in the water this week? Busier than last night, but still have plenty of downtime. I decide to stay on Reddit so I'm not tempted to shop for more wedding stuff.
3:29 AM: I hit up Amazon for some dry mouth lozenges for one of my residents. I generally do not make special purchases like this. ($6.78) My coworker mentions she needs a new TV and she's in luck, because B and I have too many now that we live together.
6:30 AM: I drop Z off at daycare without any issues and meet my coworker at my old house. She picks a 43 inch smart TV and I make $125! Head home for my abbreviated morning (night?!) routine: rinse face, vit C cream, brush teeth. My oldest dog
is acting crazy so I give her some extra attention. Head to my eyelash appointment at 7:30 ($25 + $5 tip, budgeted above).
8:11 AM: I'm in bed with the cat. No place I'd rather be, it's 21° this morning. Browse Reddit for a while, then read until I fall asleep around 10.
4:00 PM: Same shit, different day. I'm up a little earlier because Z has started going to her dad's on Wednesdays. I work and B has dart league every week. Our save the dates were delivered and I'm so happy with them! I pick Z up at 4:30, hand my monthly check over to daycare and then drive Z to her dad's. Trip takes about 45 minutes total. Today was Z's last day of school for the week, so her stepmom will bring her home sometime in the morning.
5:44 PM: The Humane Society where I adopted my cat is asking for donations of Snuggle Safe heat pads. I order one on Amazon and have it shipped straight to them. ($32.34) I try to send items to them 3-4 times a year. Kiss B goodbye as we both head out the door.
11:00 PM: Holy crap it's been busy. Finally get to sit down and attempt to catch up on my charting, which takes about 30 minutes longer than normal tonight.
Daily total: $39.12 Day 6: Thursday
12:30 AM: B is done with darts and brings me THE BEST steak cubes at work. I'm starving and still pretty busy so I wolf them down along with as much water as my stomach can hold.
2:39 AM: Finally a breather. I address save the dates and have a major hand cramp when I'm done. I gotta figure out a way to print these for our invitations.
4:03 AM: My FSA reimbursement comes through. I leave it in my checking to cover the daycare payment I just dropped off.
6:30 AM: I'm free!! Best part of my job is the 3 day work weeks. Go home, body shower, brush my teeth and let the dogs out. It's 16° this morning so none of them want to play. Ha. I am also exhausted from not getting my 8 hours of sleep all week, but it's been so hard to wind down after work lately. I cuddle with the dogs for a while and go down to bed to read. B took the day off, and having him in bed with me during the week is strange. I finally fall asleep around 11:30.
4:03 PM: Z comes down in her Elsa costume
and demands that I do her eyeliner. She's pumped for trick or treating. I brush my teeth and throw on jeans and a tee shirt.
4:45 PM: Time to head out. We hit a couple businesses and go up to our work where they serve free supper every Halloween. We get hot dogs, chips and a cookie each. Then we walk the neighborhood around my dad's place. We stop at a family friend's house, and she comments on my weight loss. Score! The scale is hard for me to believe since my clothes still fit the same. I sneak a couple swigs of Fireball while we walk because it's 37° and I'm cold. Z ends up with 2 full buckets of candy.
7:00 PM: We're home just in time for Grey's Anatomy! I'm really not enjoying this season but after 14 years of watching this show, it's hard to stop.
8:05 PM: Z gets herself ready for bed and I tuck her in. She's beat. I watch a couple episodes of The Simpsons' Treehouse of Terror
Daily total: $0 Day 7: Friday
1:24 AM: Next thing I know, the dogs are barking to go outside. B and I both fell asleep in the living room. I take care of the dogs and make some popcorn before stealing some Kit Kats out of Z's Halloween haul.
3:00 AM: I go downstairs to read as usual, but I'm out by 3:30.
11:36 AM: Y'all, I was tired. 12 total hours of sleep later and I'm feeling much better. The stamps arrived so I finish our save the dates. B goes to get groceries and pick up E, since he has an early out from school today. Z is still laying in bed 🤣
1:30 PM: Z's dance teachers send out emails regarding costume prices. Our total will be $164 this year, and I have plenty in Z's expense account to cover it. They'll charge my card later this month. I spend some time in my bank app categorizing transactions and moving money around. My account rounds up all my transactions to the next dollar and puts that money into my savings account, and $12.14 was moved this week. I sign up for Disney Plus and update my subscriptions expense to $92. Text with my bestie about wedding planning and my work wife about random stuff.
2:10 PM: E is home! B bought about $200 worth of groceries and random house stuff: fancy frozen pizzas, popcorn, cheese, chicken patties, bread, sandwich meat, milk, cereal, tortillas, black olives, onion rings, tater tots, freezer bags, paper plates, Little Debbie snacks, cold medicine for E, deodorant, body wash, a carbon monoxide detector, dog treats, and I don't even know what else. I'll get the next big haul. He also bought razors and tells me the handle on his DSC one broke, so I go online and order a couple replacements since our next box doesn't come for 6 weeks. ($18.49) My no-spend day is shot, so I order vape juice since it's on sale. ($47.57) I'm 4 months cigarette free and didn't include that little detail in my last diary.
2:46 PM: B gets a fire page. It's a possible gas leak so it should be a quick one. They usually just sit around until the gas company shows up. I hang out with the kids and E catches me up on his week.
4:00 PM: B is home. No gas leak, just overly concerned neighbors. E turns on season 2 of Stranger Things
and we make the frozen pizzas for supper.
7:00 PM: E requests to play board games. My allergies are acting up so I don't join. I feel guilty but my headache praises me. We tend to get rowdy on game night. It's also a hair wash night but I can't be bothered.
9:35 PM: Tuck Z into bed and she's asleep almost immediately. The rest of us aren't too far behind her. E lets the dogs out and I fill up my water bottle. I'm in bed reading at 10.
Daily total: $66.06 Weekly Total: $493.91
I AM SHOOK
Ending checking account balance: $1421.96
Food + Drink: $6.19
Fun + Entertainment: $100
Home + Health: $18.49
Clothes + Beauty: $50.58
Gifts + Donations: $79.12
Other (vaping and stamps): $211.53 Lastly, reflect on your diary!
I purposely chose this week because I knew it would be busy. Going to the casino and staying overnight was a rare treat, although that little trip was kinda 'free' since we used the garage sale money. I also don't buy $165 worth of stamps every week. shrug
I opened a Simple account in August and it has changed my life. It automatically creates envelopes for my money so I'm never concerned about paying my monthly/recurring expenses. All these sinking funds and savings goals are new to me and I'm so proud of myself for setting even this small amount aside. I have never earned interest on my money before.
November will be the last month I pay for my old house. I didn't include the expenses because they are already set aside. Breaking the contract for deed was awkward but necessary. I broke down over the summer when I was getting $200 electric bills and it was still 76° in my house, along with my contract holder seemingly stalking me. I'll be moving any extra money first to my CCs then student loans. If I don't muck up, I can be debt free in about 3-4 years. Thankfully, B is totally on board with this. We are also cash-flowing our wedding, aiming for a $5k budget. B covers most of the bills and I pay for most wedding stuff, and it works for us.
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